


Kiss Me Father

by seungdandy



Category: Korean Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Conflicted Emotions, M/M, Parishioner WooSung, Past relationship issues, Priest JungJae, Sexual Attraction, tormenting the Father
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2019-10-24 04:48:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17697947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seungdandy/pseuds/seungdandy
Summary: Jung WooSung can’t help but feel something less than platonic for the new man in his life, Father Lee JungJae.





	1. Potluck

**Author's Note:**

  * For [perignonpink](https://archiveofourown.org/users/perignonpink/gifts).



> Rest assured everyone in this story is above the age of consent. I feel compelled to make this clear in light of the autrocities which have occurred in the Catholic Church over the years. Take this for what it is, just a bit of fun.

Father Lee made his way around the room, stopping to chat with people along his way. It was the monthly potluck supper hosted by the church and, as usual, the room was packed. Mrs. Han motioned him over as he approached. “Father, I’d like you to meet Jung WooSung. He’s been living next door to me for two weeks and I insisted he come tonight.” Father Lee smiled over at the young man sitting between all the older women who tended to like to be involved in everyone’s business. “Pleased to meet you, WooSung-ssi, and welcome.” WooSung bowed his head politely, not saying much as the women around him continued to fuss over him. Father Lee smiled at Mrs. Han once more. “Mrs. Han, I was just looking for someone strong to give me a hand in the kitchen. Could I borrow, WooSung-ssi for a short while?” Mrs. Han looked over at WooSung before smiling graciously at the priest. “Of course, Father, anything for you.” Father Lee looked over at WooSung, raising his brows slightly. “WooSung-ssi, do you mind?” WooSung nearly knocked his chair over to get up and away. “What did you need help with, Father?” Father Lee winked at him as they walked towards the kitchen. “Nothing really. I just feared for your wellbeing if you stayed at that table any longer.” WooSung chuckled, following him into the kitchen. “They mean well.” Father Lee went to the stove and lifted a lid from a pot containing kimchi jjigae. “They do mean well, but sometimes they go a bit overboard. Since you’re here, would you mind helping me serve this?” WooSung stepped over, ready to help. “Of course not. It smells delicious. Did you make this, Father?” Father Lee smiled widely as he began dishing out the stew. “I did and thank you. Cooking is a hobby of mine. That’s why I started having these potluck dinners when I took over this parish five years ago, that and it’s a good way to get the parishioners together.” 

As the evening was winding down, Father Lee caught up to WooSung once more. Once they’d dished out the kimchi jjigae, Father Lee had set him up with some people closer to his own age to sit with. “Well, WooSung-ssi, how did you enjoy yourself tonight?” WooSung pushed his chair in, picking us his plate as he did. “I had a nice time, Father, thank you. I just hope Mrs. Han isn’t too upset with me for ditching her and the other ladies.” Father Lee laughed, sipping from his coffee cup. “Don’t worry about Mrs. Han, I’ll cover for you with her. As long as you promise to come back and see us again.” Now WooSung was laughing. “Blackmail Father? That doesn’t seem very fitting for a priest.” Father Lee winked once more. “Anything to get bodies in the seats on Sunday.” WooSung shook his head, he could see why Father Lee was so popular with his parishioners. “I’m not very religious any more, I’m afraid.” Father Lee’s lips turned down into a slight frown. “ _Hmm_... I’ll let you in on a little secret, neither am I.” WooSung stared a moment, dumbfounded, before he realized that the priest was joking. “It’s just a Mass or two, WooSung-ssi, you're not committing to the priesthood. Try it on for size. We have coffee and donuts afterwards. The worst that can happen is you meet some new people.” WooSung chuckled, shaking the older man’s hand. “I’ll think about it. Thank you again, Father, for everything.” 

WooSung stood chatting with some of the younger crowd which he’d met at the pot luck dinner after Mass the following Sunday. He’d decided to take the priest’s advice and give the church a trial run. Something about the older man intrigued him. Maybe it was easy manner and friendly smile, such a change from most of the priests that WooSung had ever known in his youth. Father Lee made his way over eventually, pouring himself a cup of coffee from the urn. “I didn’t notice anyone dozing off this morning. I must be getting more interesting.” InSung chuckled, face turning slightly red. “Sorry about last week, Father, I was out pretty late.” The priest pat him on the back, smiling cheekily. “Save it for confession, it’s been getting pretty dull in there lately.” Everyone laughed and he turned his attention to WooSung. “Nice to see you again, WooSung-ssi.” WooSung smiled back at him, raising his coffee cup in salute. “You as well, Father. Join us in a donut?” Father Lee shook his head, chuckling slightly. “I never touch the stuff, it goes right to my hips. If you’ll all excuse me, I’ve got to speak to Deacon BeomSoo. I think those alter boys are trying to steal my thunder.” They all laughed once more as Father Lee gave them one of his trademark winks. JiHyun smiled as she watched him leave. “Father Lee is great, isn’t he?” WooSung had to agree, if he ended up joining this church, Father Lee would be the main reason. “I’ve never met a priest like him before.” JiHyun nodded, stepping closer to WooSung, speaking almost conspiringly. “Me neither. When he first came here he seemed pretty lonely, but lately he seems, I don’t know, more settled.” InSung rolled his eyes. “Don’t listen to her, WooSung-ssi. Woman are always trying to romanticize everything, even a priest.” WooSung laughed, but his eyes found Father Lee where he was speaking to Deacon BeomSoo across the room, curious as to what JiHyun had meant.

Father Lee stretched his legs before setting off down the path on his daily run. He liked to get out early before any of his commitments began and get a good workout in. It helped to clear his mind and kept his body fit and healthy. It had been part of his daily routine for longer than he cared to admit at this point, and it always brought him a sense of peace to be out amongst nature in this way. He tried not to think of anything parish related while he partook in, what he considered, a healthy indulgence. He took the path less traveled hoping to avoid meeting up with anyone because, although he loved his parishioners, this was strictly his time. When he rounded the bend and spied the solitary figure up ahead, Father Lee cringed momentarily until he realized who it was. “Good morning, WooSung-ssi. I see you’re an early riser as well.” WooSung looked temporarily startled to see anyone come up beside him. “Oh, Father, good morning. I didn’t know you were a runner.” Father Lee chuckled falling into step besides the younger man with ease. “I’ve been running for years. How about yourself?” WooSung nodded, glancing over at him. “I used to box in high school. Running was always part of my training. I guess I never got out of the habit.” Father Lee smiled to hear it. “Do you still box now?” WooSung shook his head, also smiling. “Not really, no.” Father Lee kept his eyes on the horizon. “Tell me about yourself, WooSung-ssi. What do you do?” WooSung was finding it pleasant to have a running companion for once. “I’m a carpenter which is why I’m up so early. I need to be at work soon.” Father Lee didn’t say anything for a short while, just ran along in silence thinking. “That must mean you’re good with your hands and creative. Do you happen to like kids, WooSung-ssi?” WooSung raised a brow, finding the question a bit odd. “I do like kids, why?” The priest looked over with a half smile. “No reason. I’ve just been looking for someone to do arts and crafts with a small group of kids on Wednesday evenings. I’d do it myself but the choir is practicing at the same time and they always seems to have some kind of dispute that I need to mediate. I could assist you until I’m called away if you like.” WooSung’s mouth hung open. “I haven’t even joined the church yet.” Father Lee began slowing down, ending in a walk. “You haven’t? I thought it was just a matter of filling out the paperwork.” WooSung laughed, shaking his head. “Father, are you this pushy with everyone?” Father Lee placed a hand on his shoulder, laughing now himself. “It’s not being pushy when you’re sure it’s the right fit. You’re the right fit, WooSung-ssi, I can tell.” 

‘These are lovely, WooSung-ssi. Did you make all these just for the kids?” Father Lee was examining the birdhouse kits that WooSung had brought with him. WooSung flushed slightly at the praise from the priest. “I wasn’t sure how many kids would be here and I wanted to make it fun for them.” The priest smiled, patting him on the back. “This is way more than I had hoped for. Thank you, WooSung-ssi. I knew you’d be a great fit here. The kids are going to love this.” WooSung shrugged off the praise. “It really isn’t that big of a deal, Father. I’m happy to help you.” The smile he got in return from the priest made his heart skip a beat. “What can I do to help you set up?” WooSung thought a minute. “Can we move that table over there to the center of the room?” Father Lee was already on his way over towards the table. “You get one end and I’ll get the other.” Once the room was set up, they laid out a kit at each chair. “The kids should start arriving any minute. Can I get you a coffee or a water before they do?” WooSung felt hot from moving the furniture so he readily accepted. “I’ll take a water, if it’s no trouble.” Father Lee rolled his eyes. “WooSung-ssi, of course it’s no trouble.” Turning from the kitchen refrigerator, Father Lee ran right into WooSung. “Oh, I didn’t realize you’d followed me in. Here you go.” WooSung accepted the water, stepping back a foot or two. “Sorry, Father, I didn’t mean to startle you.” Father Lee just laughed, opening up his own water to take a long drink. “No worries, you’re keeping me on my toes.” 

The two men began seeing each other more and more after that, Father Lee taking the new parishioner under his wing so to speak, to assure that he felt comfortable in their little community. Not only that, but more often than not, the two would meet up in the mornings and run together. Father Lee finding that he didn’t mind the company as much as he thought he would. “WooSung-ssi, you’ve never told me why you moved to our little town.” WooSung shrugged, not looking over at his running companion. “I guess I just wanted a change, something more on the quiet side.” Father Lee chuckled, understanding completely. “I felt the same when I asked to be transferred here. I was tired of city life, just wanted to slow down and relax a little.” Now WooSung did glance over at him, wry grin parting his lips. “If this is you slowing down, I don’t even want to think about how busy you were before.” Father Lee reached over to cuff him playfully on the head. “Yah, _wiseass_ , I didn’t say I was retiring.” WooSung stopped running, staring at him with a shocked expression. Father Lee doubled back to stand in front of him. “What’s wrong? Did you pull something?” WooSung blinked back at him. “You cursed.” Father Lee raised a brow. “Priests are human too, WooSung-ssi. And I don’t consider it cursing, more like name calling. If it makes you feel better, I promise to mention it in my next confession. Which reminds me, unless you’ve gone to Father Kim, you haven’t been yourself.” WooSung started running again. “I have nothing to confess.” Father Lee laughed, catching up to him quickly. “How about lying to a priest?” 

Standing at their cars after the run, Father Lee tossed him a water. “WooSung-ssi, I’ve been meaning to ask you for a favor.” WooSung took a healthy drink before answering. “You don’t need me to run another club for you, do you?” Father Lee chuckled, shaking his head. “No, the arts and crafts is enough. The kids are loving it by the way, you’re a natural.” WooSung leaned back against his car, blushing at the praise but still wary of why he was getting it. “I’m enjoying it myself.” Father Lee leaned beside him almost shoulder to shoulder but not quite. “I’m glad. Anyway, what I wanted to ask you was, I have this cabinet that keeps sticking. I can barely get it opened anymore and I don’t want to damage it.” WooSung was nodding before he’d even finished talking. “Of course, I’ll fix it for you. Just point it out the next time I’m at the church.” Father Lee smiled gratefully, but was quick to correct him. “I’d appreciate that, but it’s not in the church, it’s in my private residence.” WooSung cleared his suddenly dry throat. “Oh, your private residence. Where you and Father Kim live?” Father Lee shook his head, stepping away from the car. “No, Father Kim lives with his mother, she’s a bit infirm. I’m free on Thursday if that’s good for you. I can make dinner to thank you.” WooSung finished off his water. “You don’t need to cook for me, Father. I don’t want to put you out.” Father Lee furrowed his brow. “You wouldn’t be, you'd be doing me a great favor. I understand if you’ve got something better to do, I won’t be hurt.” WooSung shook his head. “That’s not it at all, Father. I’d love to have dinner with you. Thank you so much for inviting me.” Father Lee pat him on the arm. “It’s me who should be thanking you, WooSung-ssi. I’d better run, I need to shower before morning Mass. Not that anyone would notice really since it’s mostly just me and Mrs. Han.” 

WooSung stood outside Father Lee’s private residence, shifting nervously from foot to foot, toolbox in hand. Father Lee had told him 6:30, he had arrived at 6:15 just to be safe, it was now 6:45 with no sign of the priest anywhere. WooSung was beginning to wonder if he had the wrong day. “WooSung-ssi? What are you doing just standing there?” JiHyun had approached so quietly that he hadn’t even heard her footsteps. “Oh, JiHyun-ssi, I’m waiting to fix something for Father Lee.” JiHyun nodded, smiling as she dug some keys out of her pocket. “That cabinet that sticks, right?” WooSung nodded dumbly, watching her unlock the front door. “How did you know? Did Father Lee send you here?” JiHyun stepped inside, motioning for him to follow after her. “That cabinet has been stuck for ages, I’ll show you were it is.” WooSung followed after her, still wondering where the priest could be. “Thank you, but will Father Lee mind if we’re in here without him?” JiHyun laughed, stopping in the priest’s bedroom and pointing out the rather old looking cabinet. “It’s fine, I’m in here all the time without him. I do his housekeeping.” WooSung set his toolbox down to begin work. “You do? I thought you were a nurse?” JiHyun smiled as she made herself comfortable at the priest’s desk. “I am, but when I was in high school I was struggling with my French class to the point of almost failing. My family couldn’t afford a tutor so Father Lee offered to tutor me if I’d promise to clean his residence for him. I’ve been doing it ever since.” 

WooSung started working to fix the cabinet. “Father Lee speaks French?” JiHyun nodded, turning back and forth in the chair while watching WooSung work. “He speaks French, Italian and Russian.” “Don’t forget Latin.” Both WooSung and JiHyun turned to see Father Lee in the doorway. “Sorry for keeping you waiting, WooSung-ssi. I got tied up at a sick parishioner’s house which, unfortunately, means I didn’t have time to cook. I did pick up a few pizzas, I hope that’s alright.” WooSung shrugged with a smile. “I understand, Father, and it’s just fine.” Father Lee turned to JiHyun next. “Thank you, JiHyun-ssi for letting WooSung-ssi in. Will you join us for dinner?” JiHyun smiled looking over at WooSung who seemed entirely focused on his work. “I’d love to, Father, but I have to work.” Father Lee frowned. “I’m sorry to hear that. Next time then.” JiHyun stood up, looking over at WooSung. “Goodnight, WooSung-ssi. See you soon, I hope.” WooSung gave her a half glance. “Oh... bye, JiHyun-ssi.” 

‘The cabinet is like the day I got it now, thank you so much. Pizza doesn’t seem like enough of a payment for such fine work.” WooSung took a large bite from a slice, trying not to blush. “I’m happy to do it, Father. It’s a beautiful piece of furniture. Where did you get it?” Father Lee set his knife and fork down, lighting up a cigarette before offering the pack to WooSung. “I got it in France a long time ago, before I became a priest. I don’t think it’s quite an antique, but it was such an interesting piece we just had to have it. It’s the only personal effect that I kept when I went to the seminary to study.” WooSung lit his own cigarette not missing the ‘we’. “I can understand why. You have a good eye.” Father Lee smiled to hear it. “Coming from such a fine craftsman, I’ll take that as a compliment.” They sat smoking in a comfortable silence for some minutes, each man lost in his own thoughts. “WooSung-ssi, I just have to mention this. I’m no expert at these types of things, but I can see when someone is going out of their way to show a person how interested they are in them.” WooSung froze in his seat, beads of sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. “ _You can?_ ” Father Lee reached over to pat him on the thigh. “I can, and I would hope that you can too.” WooSung raised his head slowly to look over at the priest’s expectant face. “... _Father, I_...” Father Lee’s brow furrowed. “Relax, WooSung-ssi, I’m not asking for you to make a commitment, but if you do like her, don’t play games.” WooSung’s heart was beating so loudly he could hardly hear the words that the priest had said. “I’m not playing games, Father.” Father Lee crushed out what little remained of his cigarette, smiling over at him so warmly that WooSung was sure the temperature must have risen. “I’m glad to hear it. Not that your love life is any of my business. It’s just, well JiHyun is such a sweet girl and...” WooSung had the wind knocked out of him suddenly. “ _JiHyun?_ Father, I’m not interested in JiHyun, not in the least. I’m sorry, Father, I’m interested in... someone else.” Father Lee blinked over at him for a moment before snapping out of it. “No apologies necessary, WooSung-ssi. I’m sorry I stuck my nose where it didn’t belong.” 

“Please, take the rest of the pizza, I’ll never eat it myself.” WooSung couldn’t help teasing the older man. “Are you sure, Father? You might get hungry later, want a midnight snack.” Father Lee laughed, giving his arm a shove. “More likely you’ll end up finishing it off on your car ride home than that happening.” WooSung rolled his eyes. “That I believe. You hardly ate any tonight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you eat a full serving of anything, Father. It’s none of my business but, are you, you’re okay, right?” Father Lee’s smile softened to something warmer and his hand came up behind WooSung’s neck to grasp it. “I’m just fine, WooSung-ssi. I’m just not a big eater, never really have been. Thank you for your concern. Drive safely.” WooSung knew he was flushed from both the touch from Father Lee’s hand and his soft words. “Alright, Father, I’ll see you in the morning.” Father Lee’s smile turned forced suddenly. “Oh, I forgot to mention, tomorrow I won’t be running. I have a personal errand to attend to.” WooSung shrugged it off, all the while wondering what it could be. “Alright, then see you at the potluck dinner.” Father Lee cleared his throat. “Father Kim is going to be running tomorrow’s potluck dinner. I’ll see you Saturday, WooSung-ssi. You can tell me all about the potluck.” WooSung smiled, bowing his head slightly. “Alright, good night, Father Lee.” Father Lee waved as he walked down the steps. “Good night, WooSung-ssi.”

WooSung was halfway home when he realized that he’d forgotten his toolbox at Father Lee’s. Luckily it was still early enough that he felt sure he wouldn’t be disturbing the older man. He was gone fifteen minutes at most, not long enough for anyone to have fallen asleep. He knocked on the front door. “Father Lee, it’s me, WooSung. I left my toolbox behind.” When he got no response, he tried the doorknob finding it unlocked and pushed open the door. “Father Lee, it’s just me, WooSung. Sorry to disturb you but I forgot my toolbox.” WooSung followed the hallway down towards where he’d left his toolbox in front of the cabinet. Father Lee was standing in front of the open cabinet with his back to him and it was obvious he hadn’t heard him approaching. He held a glass of what looked to be scotch in one hand and a cigarette in the other. WooSung was about to speak when Father Lee’s shaky voice reached him. “ _Mon ange._.” WooSung didn’t understand what he’d said, but he could tell the priest was upset. “Excuse me, Father.” Father Lee turned quickly, his drink spilling onto the hardwood floor beneath his feet. “WooSung-ssi, you startled me. _I... I_ was just admiring your wonderful work.” WooSung took a step closer and the priest sidestepped away from him. “Careful, don’t slip on my clumsy spill.” WooSung tried to get a good look at his face, but the older man had rushed off to get a wet rag to clean the floor. “Can’t have JiHyun thinking I’ve been going on a bender.” WooSung was frowning, he could tell something wasn’t right, but had no idea what it could be. “Father, are you alright?” Father Lee was smiling now, just like usual except it didn’t reach his eyes. His eyes looked haunted, like he’d lived through a terrible ordeal. “I’m fine, just startled that’s all. What brings you back?” WooSung picked up his toolbox. “I forgot this earlier. Sorry I frighten you. I knocked but I guess you didn’t hear it.” Father Lee began ushering him out. “Sorry about that, WooSung-ssi. Thank you again and good night.” WooSung heard the distinct click of the deadbolt as he made his way down the stairs, worrying over the look on Father Lee’s face and what it could mean.


	2. Out of Character

Friday morning before work, WooSung stood in Mrs. Han’s kitchen fixing her broken windows. “Let me get you something for breakfast.” WooSung turned to look at his neighbor, smiling politely. “I don’t want to trouble you, Mr. Han.” Shaking her head, she began to pull out some tofu and kimchi from the refrigerator. “Don’t be silly, it’s no trouble.” WooSung finished his work just as Mrs. Han finished cooking the eggs. “Thank you so much, Mrs. Han.” She poured him a cup of coffee, taking the seat across from his. “Thank you for fixing my windows. It’ll be nice to get some fresh air in here again.” WooSung began eating, savoring the taste of the vegetable omelette she had made. “You’re welcome. This is delicious, reminds me of my mother’s cooking.” Mrs. Han smiled at the compliment. “I’m happy that you like it. Come by anytime and I’ll fix you something.” WooSung grinned over at her. “I just might take you up on that. Mrs. Han, I’ve been thinking, do you suppose priests get lonely?” Mrs. Han set her coffee cup down, raising a brow. “Why would you be wasting your time thinking about that nonsense?” WooSung shrugged over his coffee cup. “Just something I heard at that first potluck I went to made me think about it.” Mrs. Han rolled her eyes at him. “I’m not sure who’s putting those ideas in your head, but it sounds silly to me.” WooSung set his cup down, interested. “Really, why would it be silly? Priests are human beings too.” Mrs. Han had heard enough. “Priests have a higher calling. They’re meant to do God’s work and tend to their parishioners. That doesn’t leave much room for loneliness, now does it? A nice young man like you shouldn’t be bothering about these types of things. You should be thinking about finding yourself a nice girl to settle down with instead.”

WooSung parked his car and headed towards the church for the potluck dinner. He had debated wether or not to even come tonight, but then at the last minute decided to do so. Glancing back to where Father Lee’s house was behind the church, WooSung’s heart sped up a bit to see his car parked in its usual spot as well as a light on. Perhaps the priest had finished his errand up earlier than anticipated and would be joining them. Now WooSung was glad he’d made the decision to come out, despite being reluctant to do so. Walking down the stairs and into the hall, the first person WooSung saw was Father Kim standing and talking with some parishioners. After a quick look around, WooSung made his way over to the older priest. “Good evening, Father.” Father Kim smiled politely, he and WooSung hadn’t really interacted all that much in the short time he’d been a member of the church. WooSung had naturally gravitated to Father Lee since that first night when he’d rescued him from his fate with the older ladies. “Good evening, WooSung-ssi.” WooSung stood there awkwardly, half smile on his lips while he thought of something to say. “Looks like a nice turnout tonight.” Father Kim glanced around the room before looking back at the tall parishioner. “I’d say so.” WooSung coughed, clearing his throat. “Is Father Lee in the kitchen? I can see if he needs a hand.” Already taking a step in that direction, Father Kim reached for his arm to stop him. “Father Lee isn’t here tonight. He had something personal to attend to. Deacon BeomSoo and I have everything under control. Why don’t you find a seat, WooSung-ssi, and just enjoy yourself.” WooSung’s heart had sunk to hear that Father Lee wasn’t there even though he had told him himself that he wouldn’t be. 

All through the dinner WooSung was distracted. He barely ate and was more quiet than his new friends had come to expect. InSung gave him a nudge from beside him when he had asked him the same question three times with no response. “Is anything wrong tonight, WooSung-ah? You don’t seem yourself.” WooSung smiled, shaking his head. “Just worried about a friend.” JiHyun frowned first at InSung then at WooSung. “Someone we know? Someone from the church maybe?” WooSung put his utensils down, keeping his face neutral. “I’d rather not say.” JiHyun slid closer to him, gaining his attention with a hand on his arm, keeping her voice soft. “Is it Father Lee?” WooSung pulled back slightly in surprise. “Father... _no_ , why would you think that?” JiHyun’s smile was warm. “Because I know that you two are friends and also because I’m worried about him too.” WooSung’s brows climbed high, no longer trying to deny it. “You are? Why?” JiHyun let out a little sigh. “I saw him earlier before I came in here. He was getting out of his car and he didn’t look like himself at all. I tried to say hello to him, but either he didn’t hear me or he ignored me.” WooSung turned his chair so that he was facing her. “That doesn’t sound like Father Lee.” JiHyun shook her head. “No, it’s not like him at all. No matter how busy he is, he’s always friendly. Do you think he could be sick?” WooSung picked up his half eaten tray of food. “I don’t know, but I’m going to go check on him.” JiHyun grabbed her own tray following after him. “I’m coming with you. If he is sick he may need a nurse.” WooSung nodded at her as they both hurried towards the rear entrance. 

WooSung knocked several times on the priest’s door while JiHyun stood beside him trying to reach him on the phone. “He’s not answering, should we use your key? What if he’s really sick in there?” JiHyun hung up, retrieving her keys from her bag. “I’m really getting scared, WooSung-ssi.” WooSung pushed open the door, walking in first, his eyes landing on the priest right away slumped over the kitchen table. “ _Father Lee!_ ” He rushed to his side, JiHyun right behind him. WooSung reached out without thinking, pulling the older man back into an upright position while JiHyun checked for a pulse. “WooSung-ssi, I think he’s just passed out.” That’s when WooSung noticed the half empty bottle of scotch on the table along with the upended tumbler. “Pick him up, while I go turn down his bed.” JiHyun hurried off towards Father Lee’s bedroom and WooSung bent to pick him up and carry him. WooSung placed the older man gently in his bed being careful not to jostle him too much. JiHyun then began removing his slippers. “I’ll go get him a bottle of water and some pain relievers while you undress him.” WooSung turned to stare at her. “ _Undress him?_ Do you really think I should? Aren’t you a nurse?” JiHyun rolled her eyes at him before turning to leave the room. “I am but since he’s not seriously hurt I think it’s best if you do it.” WooSung turned back to the unconscious priest, took a deep breath and began to remove his sweater. He got his right arm out as well as his head but his left hand seemed to be clenched in a tight fist prohibiting WooSung from removing the last sleeve. Easing the fingers open, WooSung saw that Father Lee had been holding tight to a well worn photograph. 

“Thank you, WooSung-ssi, I’ll take it from here.” Father Kim’s voice suddenly boomed from behind WooSung causing him to drop the photograph that he had been transfixed by. JiHyun stood behind the older priest, guilty look on her face. WooSung stepped aside, picking the photograph back up quickly and tucking it under Father Lee’s pillow. If it was important enough for the priest to be holding onto so tightly, it was important enough not to be carelessly misplaced. WooSung was also wary of Father Kim finding the photograph, sensing it could be bad for Father Lee if he did. “Father Lee isn’t feeling well. We were just trying to help him.” Father Kim had stepped forward now to usher both young people out as swiftly as possible. “Father Lee will be fine, don’t you worry. He just needs to rest after a taxing day.” WooSung turned to JiHyun when they found themselves unceremoniously standing on the outside of Father Lee’s front door once more. “What happened? I thought you were just getting some water and pain medication not Father Kim?” JiHyun looked just as upset as WooSung felt. “He cornered me in the church kitchen. You can’t expect me to lie to a priest, WooSung-ssi, it isn’t right.” WooSung’s anger at being rushed out when he only wanted to be by Father Lee’s side, came bubbling out. “ _You could very easily have! You could have just said it was for you! _” JiHyun’s lip quivered as she crossing her arms in front of her. “Well, I’m sorry, WooSung-ssi. Maybe lying to priests and everyone else is easy for you, but that’s not how I was raised.” As she stormed off, WooSung regretted his harsh words, calling after her. “ _JiHyun-ssi, I’m sorry._ ” __

__Sunday after Mass WooSung stood having a cup of coffee with InSung in the church hall chatting about mundane issues. Father Lee had looked a bit worn around the edges as he had basically gone through the motions of the service that morning. Even his homily seemed somewhat flat today, not his usual interesting anecdotes and heartfelt words. Seeing him like this had increased WooSung’s concern tenfold. The image that he’d seen on that photograph, albeit briefly, had intensified his already peaked curiosity about the handsome priest. Father Lee, who had occupied a large part of WooSung’s thoughts since the day they had met, was now all encompassing. WooSung wondered if the photograph had anything to do with the unhappiness that JiHyun had sensed when Father Lee had first been assigned here. WooSung would certainly never forgot what he’d seen, a much younger and radiantly smiling Father Lee accompanied by another man who, judging by their body language, was obviously more than just an acquaintance. WooSung had been in enough relationships himself to be able to spot two people who were crazy about each other when he saw them. What in the world could have happened on Friday that had led to Father Lee drinking himself unconscious? It seemed, from what WooSung knew of the man, completely out of character._ _

__“InSung-ah, have you seen JiHyun-ssi?” InSung shook his head. “She must have come to an earlier Mass. Maybe she had to work. Why, is something wrong?” WooSung shook his head. “Not really. I just owe her an apology.” InSung laughed, rolling his eyes. “Trust me, she’ll forgive you. I think she likes you.” WooSung tossed his coffee cup in the trash. “I like her too, as a friend.” InSung nodded, following suit with his own cup. “Interested in someone else, eh?” WooSung half smiled, thinking about the absurdity of it. “You could say that.” InSung smiled over at him. “Someone from church?” WooSung lifted a finger to his lips. “Shh, it’s a secret. I’ll see you later, InSung-ah. I’m going to say hello to Father Lee. I don’t think he’s feeling well today.” InSung pat him on the back. “I noticed that too.” WooSung was laughing now. “How? You were sleeping through most of the service.” InSung laughed as well. “Exactly, and Father Lee didn’t even notice. See you later, WooSung-ah.” WooSung was still chuckling as he made his way across the room towards where Father Lee was chatting with some people. He was halfway there when Father Kim waylaid him. “WooSung-ssi, nice to see you again.” WooSung wasn’t exactly thrilled to have to speak to the older priest right now, but he was too polite to just ignore him, no matter how annoyed he was with him at the moment. “Hello, Father Kim, how are you?” Father Kim wore a smile on his face that WooSung found hard to trust. “I’m well, thank you. WooSung-ssi I wanted to take a minute and talk to you about, well, the other night.” WooSung folded his arms across his chest in a posture of defiance. “What _about_ the other night?” Father Kim placed a placating hand upon his shoulder, keeping his voice quite low. “I’ve already spoken to JiHyun-ssi earlier this morning. I would hope that you’re not discussing anything you may have assumed with any of the other parishioners.” WooSung couldn’t contain himself any longer, his indignation spilling forth. “With all due respect, Father, I consider Father Lee more than my pastor, I consider him a friend. I would never hurt him, if that’s what you’re implying.” _ _

__“Excuse me, Father Kim, there’s a situation with the choirmaster that I’d appreciate you attend to.” WooSung and Father Kim turned at the sound of Father Lee’s voice. Father Kim bowing his head slightly. “Of course, excuse me, WooSung-ssi.” The younger man had turned away as soon as the younger priest had appeared seemingly out of nowhere. “Are you alright, WooSung-ssi? You look a bit upset.” WooSung turned back to face the priest, expression softening. “I was just on my way over to see you to ask you a similar question.” Father Lee let out a sigh. “I’m sorry I missed our run yesterday. I haven’t been feeling very well over the last few days I’m afraid.” WooSung looked at his face, at the drawn lines that weren’t normally there, at the errant curl that was falling on his forehead and it made him want to reach out and brush it back to sooth him. Instead, he shoved both hands into his pockets. “I hope it’s not anything too serious.” Father Lee’s lips turned up ever so slightly. “Nothing that I haven’t lived through before.” WooSung furrowed his brow, that answer not sitting well with him. “What’s that mean?” Now Father Lee’s face broke out in a more familiar smile. “It’s nothing for you to be concerned with, WooSung-ssi, but thank you. Now, tell me how Father Kim upset you. I know he can be blunt sometimes. Did he say something that offended you?” WooSung chuckled, lifting a hand to cover his mouth. “This is the second time you’ve pulled me out of an awkward situation here.” Father Lee’s brow raised. “I suppose it is. You’re not going to tell me what Father Kim said, are you?” WooSung shrugged, twinkle in his eyes. “Maybe I’m saving it up for confession.” Father Lee laughed now, reaching out to touch his arm as he did so. Both actions doing WooSung’s heart a world of good. “By the time you decide to go to confession it’s going to take hours to confess all your sins.” WooSung grinned back at him, heart lighter than it had been since Friday night. “Maybe I’m saving up for a really big sin. I don’t want to bore you, Father.” Father Lee shook his head. “I somehow don’t think you could.”_ _

__The next morning Father Lee looked much better for their run. WooSung had so many questions, he just didn’t know where to begin. Then Father Lee gave him the opening he needed himself as they ran side by side. “I really can’t thank you enough for fixing my cabinet, WooSung-ssi. I know I mentioned this before but, you’re quite the craftsman. Did you always want to be a carpenter?” WooSung shook his head, face flushing and not just from the exertion. “No, when I was ten I wanted to go to outer space.” Father Lee laughed, looking over at him with an affectionate smile. “So, an astronaut then.” WooSung wore a similar expression when he looked back at the priest. “I really don’t think I’d thought it through that thoroughly. What about you, Father?” Father Lee was still grinning over thoughts of young outer space bound WooSung. ‘Hmm? No, I never entertained thoughts of going into space.” WooSung rolled his eyes. “I meant, did you always want to be a priest?” The older man’s expression sobered immediately and WooSung wondered if he’d made a mistake in asking. “That’s a complex question to answer, WooSung-ssi.” WooSung was quiet for several minutes, before broaching the subject once more. “Does being a priest make you happy?” Father Lee answered him immediately, without ever breaking his stride. “My work makes me very happy, yes.” WooSung slowed his pace, hands on his hips as his breath came heavily. “That’s not exactly what I asked and you know it. Father Lee, are you lonely? I think you are. It... I hate to see you like this.” Father Lee stood six or seven feet away from him, posture relaxed. “My life is very fulfilling. Being a priest is very fulfilling.” WooSung stared back at him, unconvinced. “Don’t you miss one on one companionship?” Father Lee’s posture tensed momentarily. “My parishioners are all the companionship I need. I can see now that I’ve made a big mistake with you, WooSung-ssi.” WooSung took a few steps towards the older man. “What mistake? Father Lee, please, I want... I want to be your friends. I think you could use one.” Father Lee’s face looked resolved. “Don’t blame yourself for any of this, WooSung-ssi. Some things are out of our hands. Priests aren’t really meant to have friends. I won’t be running with you any longer, I’m sorry. Take care, WooSung-ssi. I’ll see you in church.”_ _


	3. Absolution

Wednesday evening WooSung entered the church hall slightly earlier than usual hoping to catch Father Lee and have a private word with him before the kids started arriving for class. He felt sure that given the two days he’d had to reflect on the matter, Father Lee would see how he had only been thinking of his well being. WooSung had no selfish intent when he’d questioned the older man, none that he was willing to admit anyway. When he arrived in the hall, the table had already been set up just the way WooSung preferred it to be but Father Lee was nowhere in sight. “WooSung-ssi, good evening.” WooSung turned at the sound of his name, disappointment evident on his face. “Good evening, Father Kim.” Father Kim gestured to the table to the right of him. “I trust everything is set up correctly. Father Lee left Deacon BeomSoo and I specific instructions.” WooSung nodded, mind not exactly on the table placement at the moment. “It’s fine, thank you.” Father Kim bowed his head ever so slightly. “I’m glad. Father Lee asked me to give you a message.” WooSung cleared his throat, half afraid to hear it. “Oh? What is it?” Father Kim looked just a little too pleased for WooSung’s taste as he delivered it. “He said to tell you that he’s much too busy with the choir to assist you any longer, but he has secured you a substitute. Ah, here she is now. Good evening, JiHyun-ssi.” JiHyun set her bag down, smiling politely at the priest. “Good evening, Father.” Father Kim looked over at the clock on the wall. “I won’t disturb you two any longer. I need to be getting home anyway. Have a good night.” 

JiHyun began setting out tonight’s project without so much as a word of greeting to WooSung. He began to follow her close behind. “ _JiHyun-ssi... JiHyun-ssi... please_...” Finally grabbing her by the wrist to stop her progress. “JiHyun-ssi, I’m sorry about the way I acted last Friday. I had no right to take my frustrations out on you. _Please_ , call me a jerk, slap me, just stop giving me the cold shoulder. _I... I_ really like you. Let me do something to make it up to you.” She looked at him from under her lashes. “Well, when Father Lee called to ask me to help out I was at work. I haven’t had the chance to eat yet since I came straight over.” WooSung smiled slightly. “Can I take you to eat after the class, JiHyun-ssi, please?” She sighed, thinking it over. “You really hurt my feelings when you yelled at me. If it weren’t for Father Lee, I wouldn’t even be here right now.” WooSung could relate to that, although probably on a different level. “Look, JiHyun-ssi, I’m admitting fault here and begging for your forgiveness. Please, let me make this up to you.” She finally cracked a smile. “I can’t stay mad at you. Alright, we can get some food after class.” WooSung leaned down to place a kiss on her cheek. “Good, I’m glad. I really need to talk to you.” 

After the kids scattered, WooSung glanced at the lower church’s entrance with a sigh. “JiHyun-ssi, how long does the choir usually practice?” She picked up her bag, following his line of sight. “I’m not sure since I’m not a member, why?” He shrugged, turning away to look back over at her. “Just curious. You must be hungry, let’s get going.” While JiHyun cooked the samgyeopsal and galbi, WooSung poured the soju for them both. “So what did you want to talk to me about, WooSung-ssi? The way you said it made it sound important.” WooSung downed his cup of soju and nodded his thanks when JiHyun added the cooked meat to his plate, his expression somewhat distressed when he began talking. “JiHyun-ssi, how do you get back in someone’s good graces when you’ve overstepped your boundaries?” JiHyun frowned over at him for a moment then reached out a hand and placed it over his without thinking. “WooSung-ssi, I cant imagine that you’d knowingly hurt someone.” He sighed, shaking his head. “Look how I treated you. When I’m upset sometimes I speak without thinking. I... may have done the same to someone else and now they’re avoiding me.” JiHyun pulled her hand back, picking up her chopsticks. “Is this person someone important to you?” WooSung nodded, mouth full of food. “ _Mmm... yeah... very._ ” JiHyun sipped at her soju, thoughtful. “Someone you love?” WooSung stopped mid-bite. “ _Love?_ I don’t know about love, I only know that I can’t sleep since they won’t see me.” JiHyun sighed, losing her appetite suddenly. “Sounds like love to me. You should try confessing.” WooSung stares over at her for a minute. “ _Confessing?_ ” JiHyun nodded, chuckling at his dumbfounded look. “Let her know how you feel.” WooSung blinked a few times as the wheels in his mind began turning, Father Lee couldn’t avoid him in the confessional. He began to grin over at his dining companion. “JiHyun-ssi, that’s a great idea! I think you just may be on to something with that.” 

Father Lee was having a bad week. A leftover from last week’s lingering emotions is what he told himself. Just when he’d begun to pull himself out of his self induced mire, he’d been dragged back in quite involuntary. Father Lee made a great show of being happy and content when in reality, he was nothing of the kind. Keeping rigorous daily routines, whether it be of a priestly nature or not, to keep his sanity intact, for the most part. Not allowing a moments leisure to slip into his day where he just might let his mind wander to a different time, a different place and lose the precarious grip he had on what passed as a poor excuse for his happy life. He was damn good at it too, fooling those around him effortlessly. Most people too involved with their own lives to bother about how the local priest was faring. Of course, that all changed when a certain young parishioner came into his life. WooSung seemed overly interested as well as interesting which should have been a red flag immediately, but for some reason Father Lee had ignored the churning in his gut at the sight of the tall younger man. Telling himself that he was only being kind to a new member of the church when he knew deep down of the betrayal he was perpetrating. He’d had no choice but to nip his growing friendship with the young parishioner in the bud for both their sakes. In the long run it would be in the best interest for WooSung especially and he would come to move on from his ill placed obsession to find someone more suitable. 

Now, sitting there on Saturday afternoon in the confessional booth, the absolute last place he’d like to be right now, Father Lee forced himself to concentrate on the heartfelt words being spoken by the penitent to him through the lattice window. This being the small parish that it was, he always knew who it was who was kneeling on the other side of the window and, so far at least, no one’s ‘sins’ had surprised him or amounted to much more than missing church or speaking harshly to a loved one. It was indeed a quiet community, one of the very reasons he’d asked to be transferred here when Father Kim decided to semi-retire from his duties. He had hoped to rejuvenate the little parish as well as his own spirit. He thought it was working out pretty well, despite his yearly stumbling block. Now he wasn’t so sure about anything anymore. “Bless me Father, for I have sinned. It’s been a long time since my last confession, I can’t even remember honestly.” Father Lee squeezed his eyes closed, of course WooSung would come to confession today. Why hadn’t he asked Father Kim to step in for him? He cleared his throat, allowing the religious ritual and anonymity to take over and hoping WooSung was sincere in his penitence. “What’s kept you from the confessional?” WooSung kept his eyes trained on the lattice window while Father Lee remained staring straight ahead, listening. “I never felt the need to, Father. You see, I’m not a very religious person.” 

Father Lee remained stock-still and WooSung wondered briefly if he might not have heard him, until he started speaking. “Why don’t you tell me why you decided to come today.” WooSung nodded, peering into the semi-darkened confessional to see if he could read the priest’s expression. “ _I... I_ hurt someone that I care about and... I’m so sorry about it. I think about them day and night.” Father Lee clutched his rosary just a little tighter at the anguished sound in the younger man’s voice. “Did you do this intentionally?” WooSung’s voice was near breaking now, his fingers and lips pressed against the lattice in supplication. “Of course I didn’t. You know I would never, _don’t you? I... I._.. think about you in ways I probably shouldn’t. I think about... what it would feel like to kiss you... _to touch you_...” Father Lee finally turned to face him now, speaking rapidly and in Latin before addressing him directly, his voice no more than a whisper as he leaned closer. “I’m absolving you of your sins. You need to stop this, WooSung-ssi, please. Your penance is to pray and reflect upon your actions until you can reconcile yourself with our Heavenly Father.” WooSung didn’t have a chance to answer him before Father Lee slid the wooden partition back in place blocking the lattice window. 

Removing his cigarettes from his jacket pocket, Father Lee tried to steady his hand as he lit up. The nicotine soothed his frazzled nerves, but not nearly enough. He would have to offer Mass soon and he couldn’t be shaken up while doing so. Someone, even in a sleepy little community like this, was bound to notice if he let the communion chalice slip from his hands and spilt the blood of Christ everywhere. “Father Lee, there you are. Are you alright? It’s almost time for evening Mass.” Father Lee exhaled a hefty cloud of smoke, trying to act as natural as possible. “Ah, Father Kim, just having a cigarette. Confession seemed to go a little longer than usual today.” The older priest gave him a knowing look. “Spring starting to make itself know usually makes people around here more inclined to mischief.” Father Lee forced a laugh, finishing off his cigarette as he did so. “This must be a particularly mischievous spring then.” Father Kim began to follow him inside the church. “If you’re feeling overtaxed for any reason, I’d be happy to step in for you at any time.” Father Lee smiled now, genuinely, giving the older priest’s arm a pat. “I’m very thankful for your assistance, Father, but I don’t want to overwork you.” Focusing all his energies into his liturgical duties, Father Lee felt he had a good grasp on his emotions as he let go of any personal thoughts and focused entirely on the ritual of offering Mass. That is, until the rite of communion was offered. WooSung, having been absolved of his sins, stood before the priest ready to accept the blessed sacrament from his hands. Father Lee hesitated for the merest second, his hand suspended above the younger man’s awaiting lips. “The body of Christ.” WooSung’s eyes never left his as he turned slowly to walk away, uttering his response in a near breathless whisper. “ _Amen_.” Father Lee stood frozen, watching him go for a second too long before turning to the next parishioner. 

“Father Lee, good evening.” Father Lee smiled at Mrs. Han, clasping her extended hand in his own. “Good evening, Mrs. Han. How are you?” She smiled in return, stopping to chat. “I’m fine, Father. I hope you haven’t forgotten about our lunch tomorrow afternoon, one o’clock sharp.” Father Lee had actually forgotten that he’d promised to join the ladies for lunch, but didn’t let Mrs. Han in on that fact. “Of course, I’m looking forward to it. Your cooking always reminds me of my mother’s.” She smiled happily at the compliment before her memory was jarred. “Oh, that reminds me, Father, I’ve also invited my neighbor, Jung WooSung. He’s a nice young man, as you know, but I think he could use your guidance.” Father Lee cleared his throat, suddenly less at ease. “WooSung-ssi seems to be doing just fine to me.” Mrs. Han laughed, touching his arm lightly. “You don’t understand because you’re a man of god. A woman my age knows when a younger man is, to put it delicately, in need of a wife. Perhaps you could offer him some advice on the subject.” Father Lee chuckled, both from nerves and the absurdity of it all. “As you’ve said, Mrs. Han, I’m a man of god, I’m not exactly sure how much help I could be on that subject.” She pat his arm one last time. “I’m sure you’ll be able to think of something, Father. I have faith in you. See you tomorrow.” Father Lee watched her walk off thinking about faith and whether or not it was as often misplaced as he surmised it to be. 

Father Lee had no choice, he couldn’t not show up to his planned lunch with Mrs. Han and her group of friends, nor could he lie to get himself out of it. After many hours of reflection the night before, he had come to the conclusion that perhaps Mrs. Han was correct in her assumptions about Jung WooSung. Perhaps his affections were misguided due to _frustrations_ in his past love life. The younger man was obviously seeking some kind of relationship and in lieu of a romantic one, he’d somehow confused Father Lee’s kindness and attention as something more. Maybe this was just the thing that WooSung-ssi needed to set him on the right track again. Once he saw Father Lee for what he was, the pastoral leader of their little religious community, he would undoubtedly realize his mistake. The priest buoyed himself with these thoughts even as he parked his car outside Mrs. Han’s little house. 

The older woman was all smiles as she let him inside. “Welcome, Father. I’m so happy you could make it.” Father Lee said his hellos to all the ladies, setting down the flat of clippings that he’d brought from some of his favorite plants. “I’m happy to be here. Hello, ladies, I knew anything that I could prepare wouldn’t hold a candle to your dishes, so I brought you all a little greenery.” Mrs. Gong stepped forward to look them over as the others crowded around. “Oh, Father, how thoughtful. Everyone knows what a green thumb you have.” Father Lee laughed at the ladies’ enthusiasm. “It’s just a hobby of mine that I find incredibly peaceful. I’m glad I can share it with you all.” WooSung entered the room then, carrying his hammer. “I fixed that loose floorboard for you, Mrs. Han.” She reached up to give him a pat on the shoulder, not being able to reach his face. “You’re so good to me, like a son. Go and wash up for lunch I don’t want Father Lee to be hungry.” WooSung blushed faintly at her words, his eyes finding the priest’s before ducking back towards the bathroom to do as told. “Yes ma’am.” 

Father Lee sat at the table with Mrs. Han to his right and Mrs. Ha to his left, WooSung directly across from him. “Ladies, everything is amazing. I can’t remember when I’ve eaten so well.” Mrs. Han looked pleased although she couldn’t help herself from nagging just a little, even if he was a priest. “I’m glad you enjoyed it, Father, but you eat like a bird. Can’t I get you something more?” Father Lee chuckled, looking around at all the ladies’ eager faces. “Now I really do feel like I’m eating with my mother. I’ve eaten just enough, thank you, but please, don’t let me stop you all.” Mrs. Gong leaned onto the table, it seemed the ladies had already discussed this issue beforehand. “Father Lee, don’t you know any eligible young women from the church that we could introduce young WooSung-ssi to?” Mrs. Ha chimed in with her two cents on the issue as well. “Doesn’t it seem to you, Father, a waste for a nice young man like him to stay single for too long?” Mrs. Han, the apparent ring leader, stood up waving her hands at her friends. “Ladies, please, Father Lee is perfectly capable of coming to this conclusion without your input. Aren’t you, Father?” Father Lee cleared his throat. “Well, I...” Mrs. Han began clearing the dishes away, gesturing for her friends to give her a hand. “Exactly, let’s leave it in Father Lee’s hands. He’ll know how to help our WooSung-ah find a nice girl to settle down with.” 

Sitting there alone at the table, Father Lee finally looked over at the man in question. WooSung was staring down at his hands which were resting on the table. “WooSung-ssi, I think perhaps the ladies are actually making sense. I think you have some _misplaced_ emotions that would be set right if you found someone compatible to be in a relationship with. It’s a pretty common thing, I believe, to mistake feelings of admiration for _something else_. Please don’t be embarrassed or ashamed, I’m not upset with you at all. I also want to tell you that no matter who you do end up in a relationship with... _male or female_... I’ll support you. This church is accepting of all lifestyles, so don’t worry.” WooSung raised his eyes to look over at the priest. “I’ve already found the person that I want to be in a relationship with, Father. You know it and I know it.” Father Lee ran a hand through his hair, frustrated. “WooSung-ssi, have you even listened to a word I’ve said?” WooSung frowned over at him. “I’m sorry, I can’t help who I’ve fallen in love with.” Father Lee was beginning to sweat now. “You don’t know what you’re saying.” WooSung stared over at him, expression tender suddenly. “I’m saying I love you.” “Who wants cake?” WooSung stood up to take the tray from Mrs. Han’s hands. “Looks delicious, Mrs. Han.”


	4. Haunted

Father Lee had done a pretty good job of avoiding a certain younger parishioner over the past two weeks. Keeping himself busy with either parish business, overseeing the spring cleaning of the church or working in his garden now that the weather had turned much milder. It wasn’t out of character for the priest to be so involved with so many tasks at once so no one really noticed anything amiss with him. Standing in the church hall after Mass on Sunday with Father Kim, Father Lee observed WooSung from across the room. He was pleased to see that the younger man seemed to be getting closer with people in his own age group, chatting happily with JiHyun and InSung as if they’d been friends for years. Perhaps his joining the church hadn’t been a total loss after all if he was becoming so nicely integrated into the community. He also considered it a blessing that WooSung hadn’t seen fit to come back to confession and profess his misguided feelings once more. It seemed to him that the younger man was finally realizing his mistake and working to correct it by giving him some well deserved space. “Father Lee, are you listening to me?” Father Lee turned back towards Father Kim, smile on his lips that never did quite reach his eyes. “I’m sorry, Father, you were talking about the annual yard sale.” Father Kim nodded his head. “I was. If there’s something more pressing that you need to take care of, don’t let me keep you.” Father Lee shook his head, giving the older man his full attention. “I’m sorry, no. We should form a committee as soon as possible. I’ll have my secretary send out an email in the morning.” 

Sitting at his desk late Thursday night, laptop open, Father Lee removed his glasses and rubbed at his tired eyes. He needed to serve at a funeral Mass the next morning and was just going over the homily that he’d prepared. This was always his least favorite of duties, no matter the age of the person, no matter the cause of death, it always took so much for him to get through it. Knowing that he was supposed to be that guiding light in times of need for his parishioners not making it any easier for him to gather, what was at times, the Herculean strength required to serve at these particular types of Masses. Ushering the departed into the kingdom of god his duty as a priest, being compassionate while doing so his nature as a human being. No matter how many times he’d served at a funeral Mass, no matter how detached he was from the deceased, it always brought him back to his own profound loss. Sitting here, well past midnight, he closed his eyes against the onslaught of memories. _Long curly hair blowing in the spring breeze while strolling hand in hand through Le Jardin des Plantes. Sitting by the banks of the Seine drinking wine and smoking. Finding that cabinet one rainy afternoon in a little shop off the beaten path. Riding across the countryside together without a destination in mind, MinSoo insisting that no plan was better than having one.... **MinSoo**_. Father Lee’s eyes were wet with tears now. He tried so damn hard to never think of him directly, let alone allow his name to enter into his thoughts. Promises were made to be broken he’d always said, but Father Lee couldn’t look at it that way. He had to keep this promise for both his own sanity’s sake and for what once was and could never be again. 

Father Lee must have dozed off eventually because the next thing he knew his secretary, Mrs. Ryu, was shaking his shoulders gently. “Father, tell me you haven’t been here all night.” He sat back, stretching his cramped body. “I’m afraid I must have dozed off. What time is it, Mrs. Ryu?” She sighed, sometimes he seemed more like he needed leading than someone who led a flock. “It’s nearly 9:00. What time is the funeral Mass?” Father Lee was on his feet and headed out the door already. “It’s at 10:00. I need to run home and shower. Could you please print out what I’ve written on my computer for me?” She was already stepping behind his desk to do so. “I’ll handle it, you just get yourself ready.” He called out to her just before leaving the rectory. “Thank you, Mrs. Ryu.” Ten minutes later, Father Kim entered the offices. “Mrs. Ryu, is Father Lee here yet?” She shook her head, smiling at the elder priest. He’s running a bit behind today. Poor man, fell asleep in his office last night. Thank goodness I came in and woke him.” Father Kim smiled back at her, tight lipped. “Father Lee works very hard, it’s no wonder he’d be so exhausted.” She nodded, agreeing completely. “Oh, I know. He’s such a dedicated priest.” Father Kim was about to turn away when he stopped, turning back to Mrs. Ryu’s desk. “Did you happen to have a chance to get a list of potential committee members together for the yard sale?” She nodded, smiling. “I believe that Father Lee has it in his desk drawer. Shall I get it for you?” Father Kim turned away heading towards his door. “Don’t trouble yourself, I can get it.” Picking up the list, Father Kim was about to close the drawer and go on his way until his eye landed on the photograph that the list had been resting on. Sighing deeply, Father Kim picked up the photograph of the bearded and smiling man leaning casually against his motorcycle. Slamming the drawer closed, he pocketed the photo and left the offices without another word. This would just not do.

WooSung sat with a cup of cold coffee pretending to listen to the conversation that was going on around him. His entire focus being devoted at the moment to watching an uncomfortable looking Father Lee holding a barely touched plate of food across the room. He was surrounded by people, which was understandable, it was a funeral and he was a priest. He should be the most comforting person in the room, except in WooSung’s opinion, he looked to be the person who needed the most comforting. Other people wouldn’t have noticed the slight twitch in his fingers or the unusual downturn to his mouth. It wasn’t just empathy towards the grieving family that had Father Lee in such a state. WooSung knew, he’d made it his life’s work to study the man, knew all his idiosyncrasies inside and out. JiHyun drew his attention away briefly, sitting down next to him. “Can I get you something to eat?” WooSung smiled, taking her hand. “No, thank you. How are you holding up?” She sighed, but gave a shrug of her shoulders. “She lived a good, long life. You can’t ask for more than that.” WooSung squeezed her hand. “True.” Glancing back over to the vacant spot that Father Lee had occupied, WooSung sighed. “Okay if I go out for a smoke?” JiHyun rolled her eyes. “Of course, WooSung-ssi. I’m not your mother.” 

Outside, WooSung scanned the area for Father Lee. Finding him in the backyard over by a tree. “Mind if I join you?” Father Lee looked startled, like he didn’t hear him approaching. “WooSung-ssi, tell me you didn’t come to this funeral just to find me.” WooSung lit up, leaning back against the tree trunk. “Father Lee, I’m not a stalker. I’m here because this is for JiHyun-ssi’s great aunt. Wasn’t it you who suggested that we get closer?” Father Lee took a deep drag from his own cigarette, the nicotine relaxing him somewhat. “Oh, JiHyun-ssi, that’s right. So you two are together now?” WooSung looked him directly in the eye. “We’re close friends only. You know where my heart lies, Father, that’s not going to change no matter how much you try to avoid me or pawn me off on somebody else.” Father Lee frowned over at him. “WooSung-ssi, you really have to stop, and this certainly isn’t the appropriate place for this discussion.” WooSung could see how strained Father Lee already looked so he didn’t want to push it. “Alright, Father, where can we discuss it that would be more appropriate?” Father Lee ran a hand through his thick hair. “If I agree to sit down and talk with you, will you promise to really listen to me?” WooSung’s lips turned up at the corners slightly. “I always listen to you, Father. Take today, I thought you did a lovely job earlier at the service. You always speak so beautifully and from the heart, I can tell.” Father Lee looked uneasy once again. “Thank you, WooSung-ssi, but that’s not what I meant. I need you to really hear what I say to you, alright?” WooSung dropped his cigarette butt onto the ground, crushing it under his heel. “If you promise the same to me.” Father Lee sighed, but nodded his head. “I’ll text you the address of a coffee shop in the next town over. If you’re free tomorrow morning, we can meet then.” WooSung was smiling now, giddy at the prospect of one on one time with the older man. “I’m definitely free. Just tell me when and where to show up.” 

Back at the church, Father Lee entered his office leaving the lights off. It had been an exhausting day on so many levels and sleeping at his desk last night hadn’t helped him one bit. Opening up his right hand drawer, his hand brushed aside the stray papers that were lying there, fingers scraping up against the bottom with a harsh sound. Turning on his desk lamp for a better look, Father Lee removed all the papers one by one expecting to find his misplaced photograph between them. When it still didn’t turn up, he began searching, somewhat frantically, through each and every desk drawer that he had. He even checked his wastebasket as well as underneath his desk. When he still couldn’t locate his photograph, he began to panic, sweat breaking out on his neck as his hand began to shake. Opening up his office door, he kept his voice steady. “Mrs. Ryu, have you, by any chance, been in my desk while I was gone?” She looked up at him from her computer keyboard. “No, Father. I haven’t set foot in your office since I printed off your homily earlier.” Father Lee nodded, turning back around to renew his search. “Oh, but Father Kim was. He got that committee member list for the yard sale that was in there. I hope he didn’t leave the drawer open. I know how you hate that.” Father Lee stopped in his doorway. Father Kim had been in his desk which could only mean one thing. “No, everything is fine, Mrs. Ryu, thank you.” She closed her computer, standing up. “I’m glad. If everything is alright then I’m heading home. It’s my wedding anniversary.” Father Lee turned to her to absentmindedly acknowledge her. “Go right ahead and happy anniversary.” 

After what could only be described as a fitful night’s rest, Father Lee got into his car to meet WooSung. The prospect didn’t thrill him in the least, but he needed to try to and resolve this issue with the younger man as swiftly as possible. If he didn’t feel so strongly regarding this matter, he might have cancelled their meeting entirely or at least postponed it to a later date. His mind wasn’t exactly the clearest it had ever been right now for numerous reasons. If he had his druthers, Father Lee would lock himself away from everyone for a time until he could get past this sudden and emotional stumbling block. WooSung’s persistent insistence on pursuing an inappropriate relationship with him not exactly giving him any relief in that respect. The drive through the spring air had done more for his cloudy thoughts than last night’s tossing and turning in his bed had been able to accomplish. So much so that by the time he had parked his car down the block from the coffee shop, he felt at least marginally able to present a rational case to his young parishioner. 

WooSung was already waiting in a corner booth when Father Lee walked inside, he knew that he would be. He rose slightly as the older man approached, pleasant smile on his handsome face. “Good morning, Father. Did you sleep well?” Father Lee made himself at home in the bench seat opposite him, unzipping his light jacket as he did. “Good morning, WooSung-ssi. No, I actually didn’t sleep that well, but thank you for asking.” The waitress came over to take their orders, a skinny flat white for Father Lee and a latte for WooSung. As soon as she was gone, WooSung looked over at the priest. “I hope it wasn’t the anticipation of this meeting that kept you up. I know I barely slept a wink myself because my brain wouldn’t stop working on what I should say to you this morning.” Father Lee sat back with a weary sigh. “WooSung-ssi, this unhealthy obsession you’ve developed isn’t doing either one of us any good.” WooSung leaned forward onto the table with his arm resting out towards the older man. “Just listen to me, Father, please. I did a lot of thinking last night and I know I haven’t been making things easy on you. I’m sorry for that.” Father Lee looked relieved to hear it as the waitress served them their coffee, he even smiled a little. “I really appreciate that, WooSung-ssi. I’m so glad that you’ve come to your senses on this.” WooSung took his first sip of his latte, a hint of a smile on his lips as he began to speak once more. “I never wanted to cause you stress, Father. I’m sincere when I tell you that.” Father Lee looked so much more relaxed than when he’d first walked in, sipping on his flat white with an appreciative look. “I know you didn’t, WooSung-ssi. Let’s just chalk it up to misplaced feelings and put it behind us now.” 

WooSung watched him from over the top of his cup. “Father Lee, I wish you’d let me in. You can trust me, I’d never betray you.” Father Lee froze, cup raised in midair, raising a pointed brow. “I don’t know what...” WooSung stared back unflinchingly. “Father, just because I say I don’t want to cause you stress doesn’t mean that I’ve suddenly stopped loving you. How shallow do you think I am?” Father Lee’s jaw tightened, it was the closest to mad that WooSung had ever seen him get. “WooSung-ssi, I thought this was settled.” WooSung reached across to touch his hand which was flinched away as if it were burned. “I want to help you. I can see how much you’re hurting. It hurts me too.” Father Lee stood, dropping some money onto the table. “The only thing hurting me right now is you.” WooSung was up and out of his seat before the coffee shop’s door had closed. Grabbing hold of the older man’s wrist, WooSung pulled Father Lee away from his car. “I’m not hurting you, you’re hurting yourself by denying your feelings.” Father Lee’s eyes were wide open and wild looking. “I’m a priest, you need to start remembering who and what I am.” WooSung didn’t back down, keeping his grip as well as his voice firm. “You haven’t always been one.” Father Lee’s expression turned incredulous. “Meaning what?” WooSung didn’t mean to talk about it, he was just so upset that he blurted it out. “Meaning I saw that photograph of you and that man.” 

Father Lee leaned against the side of his car, all energy drained from him now, and making a feeble attempt at covering up. “I... I’m not sure what you mean.” WooSung released his wrist, leaning next to him, confident that he wouldn’t leave now. “It was Labor Day. You weren’t at the potluck and JiHyun-ssi and I were worried. We came to your house and found you. You were... you were _sick_. You had a photograph in your hands. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snoop, it fell out when I... when I tried to change your clothes.” WooSung was bright red now but Father Lee didn’t seem to notice staring at the ground as he was with a vacant look. He spoke in a monotone when he finally did reply. “Did JiHyun-ssi...” WooSung was quick to reassure him.”oh, no, she left to get you some pain pills. I’m the only one who saw it. When Father Kim came in, I stuck it under your pillow.” Father Lee raised his head now to look over at him. “Father Kim was also there?” WooSung nodded, his hand reaching out in a comforting gesture, brushing the priest’s hair back from his forehead. Father Lee once again flinched at his touch, backing away. “ _Don’t_. I’m sorry that you had to... I’m sorry you saw me like that, WooSung-ssi.” WooSung let out a small, nervous laugh. “It’s alright. I’ve been sick like that myself.” Father Lee seemed to be gathering himself, changing his demeanor to something much more business like. “It’s no way for a priest to be seen. Again, I sincerely apologize. If you’ll excuse me, I should be getting back.” WooSung frowned, uneasy feeling creeping up in his chest. “Can we meet again? To talk?” Father Lee didn’t even contemplate it, his mind already moving forward onto other things. “It’s not a good idea, WooSung-ssi. You have to see that.” WooSung shifted from foot to foot, this didn’t go at all as he’d envisioned it. “But, Father Lee...” Father Lee closed his eyes, face a combination of sadness and discomfort. “ _Please, WooSung-ssi._ ” WooSung stepped back, watching him drive away with a pit in his stomach the size of a boulder. 

Saturday morning Mass was served by Father Kim. He liked to keep a foot in door, ecclesiastically speaking. Flex his liturgical muscles once a week to keep himself in practice. Knowing this to be the case, the church or his own dwelling behind it, would be the last place that Father Lee would want to go to at the moment. Unfortunately, he was compelled by an obligation to at least make a brief appearance there. Luckily, that same obligation would also be his ticket to a swift exit once he was. Mass having ended some twenty minutes prior, Father Lee made his way inside to the alter, breathing out a sigh of relief to find himself alone. Father Lee set about packing up the communion host which he would be bringing to the infirm at the nearby hospital, his hands working swiftly to complete his task. “ _Father Lee_ , I’m glad I caught you. I looked for you earlier but you weren’t at Mass.” Turning from the alter to look at Father Kim, Father Lee tried his best to smile, hoping the tremor in his hands wasn’t too visibly where they rested upon the stone alter. “I had an errand to run. I trust the Mass went smoothly.” Father Kim mounted the alter stairs, pausing to genuflect before the large cross. “It did, very. I trust your errand ran smoothly.” 

Father Lee’s lips curved higher, nerves getting the best of him. Feeling guilty although he’d committed no crime. “Yes, thank you. I really should get going. They’re expecting me at the hospital.” Father Kim was nearly next to him now. “Father Lee, I believe we may have a problem.” Father Lee turned quickly, nearly knocking over a large candle stick. If Father Kim hadn’t grabbed ahold of it, it would surely have tumbled to the alter floor. “Are you alright? You don’t look well.” Father Lee nodded, trying not to panic. “I’m fine. Just a little tired. You were... you were saying something about a problem.” Father Kim nodded, looking deathly serious. “Someone’s been tearing pages from the hymnals.” Father Lee blinked over at him, laughing slightly. “The... _the hymnals_?” Father Kim looked sternly at him, crossing his arms. “I don’t see the humor in it. It’s vandalism of church property.” Father Lee, nodded, patting the older man on the arm. “Of course, you’re right. It’s probably just some kids who are bored at church. I’ll look into it.” Father Kim, nodded, placated somewhat. “Thank you. First it’s the hymnals, next it’s carving their names in the pews.” Father Lee chuckled more out of relief than anything else. “Let’s not overreact. I’d better get going. Enjoy your day, Father Kim.” Father Kim watched him walk off, one hand in his pocket fingering the photograph which he was still carrying. “You as well, Father Lee.”


	5. Sabbatical

Father Kim was keeping an eye on his replacement over the past week, more so than usual. For all intents and purposes, Father Lee appeared to go about his normal daily routine as he usually did. Father Kim knew him better than most of their parishioners however, and could see just how much of a facade the younger priest was putting on. It showed itself in his subtle expressions and gestures, as well as the weary way in which he carried himself when he thought no one was watching. It was not unlike the way he’d first carried himself upon his arrival to their little parish community all those years prior. Father Lee had always strove to reassure him that it was merely the residual strain of his busy parish life in the city which had worn him down, but Father Kim had a much keener eye, a knack for observation you might say, and could see right through his false pretenses. It really hadn’t taken long for him to ascertain the true cause of the younger priest’s distressed countenance since, at that time, the two priests had shared a dwelling. Father Kim’s mother only just beginning to become infirm and not at the point where she would need her son, affording him much more time for the parish and its new pastor. This also made it much harder for Father Lee to keep what he held dearest a secret, especially when he was falling apart so often in those days. 

_** FLASHBACK ** _

Father Kim made his way down to his bedroom and, seeing his housemate’s door open, paused to speak to him. “Father Lee, I’m home. My aunt is going to stay the night with my mother so I decided to come back.” Father Lee didn’t move a muscle, nor did he respond to him. He just kept sitting on his bed with his back to Father Kim as if he hadn’t heard. The elder priest found it odd, but thought perhaps he’d had earphones in and hadn’t heard him. After settling his overnight bag back in his room, Father Kim decided to knock on Father Lee’s door. He didn’t want to startle him, either later that night or in the morning if he thought he was alone in the house. “Father Lee...” Father Kim took a step or two inside the tidy bedroom once he’d knocked. “Father Lee... excuse me...” Reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder, Father Kim noticed the bottle of scotch on the nightstand before he noticed the array of photographs before the younger man on the bed. “Father Lee, what are you doing?” The younger priest jumped up, surprise showing on his features as well as other things. “ _Fa... Father Kim_. I thought... what are you doing sneaking in my room like this?” Father Kim immediately took a step back, noticing the red eyes and slight slur to the younger man’s words. “Forgive me. I knocked but you must not have heard.” 

Appeased enough to pour himself another drink, Father Lee reached for the bottle. “Join me in a drink, Father?” Father Kim smiled reassuringly back over at him. “I think I could join you in one.” Father Lee grabbed the bottle and his tumbler, making ready to leave the room. “Let’s go to the kitchen.” Father Kim stopped him with a gentle hand upon his chest. “I have a better idea. I’ll go get myself a glass and we can just relax right here.” Father Lee blinked over at him, thinking it over. “Right here? Okay, in that case I’m going to sit.” Father Kim took the bottle from him and placed it back on his nightstand. “You do that. I’ll be back shortly.” Father Lee sat back down upon his bed, staring at his naked feet until Father Kim returned. “JungJae-ssi, you don’t mind if I call you that, do you? I think as long as we’re at home alone, we can be a little less formal, don’t you?” Father Lee smiled, nodding his head. “No, it’s fine, and I’ll call you SeungWoo-ssi.” SeungWoo sat in the chair opposite the bed, sipping his scotch. “That's perfect. So, what shall we talk about? Would you like to maybe tell me about those photographs you’ve got? There are quite a number of them.” JungJae looked confused momentarily before turning back to his bed, eyes landing on his treasured memories. “Oh, Father, I...” SeungWoo shook his head, hint of a friendly smile upon his lips. “Call me SeungWoo, remember? It’s alright, you’re amongst friends.” 

JungJae furrowed his brow, eyes returning to his photographs. Even in his intoxicated state he still knew enough to be guarded. “They’re nothing. _A… an_ old friend I used to know.” SeungWoo leaned forward slightly, snatching a photo off the bed before JungJae realized what he was doing. “An old friend? By the looks of it, you two were extremely close.” JungJae reached out his hand to take back the photo. “That’s mine, give it back... please.” SeungWoo turned the photo over to look at the back. “ _Mon amour, MinSoo_. My French isn’t nearly as good as yours, but if I’m not mistaken, that means ‘ _my love_ ’. That’s an interesting way to talk about a friend. What’s this date signify, May 1?” JungJae stood on shaky legs, retrieving the photograph from the older man’s grasp. “It’s nothing. If you’ll excuse me, I think I’d like to go to sleep now, I’m tired.” SeungWoo made no move to leave, crossing his legs more comfortably in the chair. “JungJae-ssi, I can see the pain in your eyes even now. Unburden yourself and begin to heal. Trust me, you’ll feel better for it.” JungJae was gathering up his photographs, shaking his head. “No, I’m... there’s nothing in my eyes. Please, just let me sleep.” SeungWoo leaned forward, encircling one of his wrists with his own hand, and effectively stopping all motion. “You can trust me, I’m a priest, not to mention your friend. Now, tell me, how long were you in a relationship with this MinSoo?” 

Hands trembling now, JungJae bit back the tears. “ _I... I... four years._ ” SeungWoo sighed, still maintaining his hold on the younger man’s wrist. “I see. Is this what drove you to the priesthood? Are you hiding away from a bad experience or perhaps hoping to atone for your past mistakes?” JungJae pulled his wrist free, turning back to finish gathering up his photographs, head swimming with alcohol, memories and now indignation. MinSoo was a lot of things, but he was never a mistake. Once he had all his photographs pressed to his chest, he stood up, even more shaky than moments before. “I’d like you to leave my room now, Father.” Father Kim rose just in time to catch his housemate before he toppled over unconscious, photographs spilling everywhere as he did. “Dear Father Lee, I think you’ve had enough excitement for one night.” After tucking the younger man into bed, Father Kim did the only thing he could do, he removed all the photographs from Father Lee’s room and wrote a report to the Cardinal regarding the matter. A report that he never sent, but held in reserve in case the matter worsened. The church was no place for a broken hearted individual to be hiding out, after all. The church was meant for those who sincerely wished to be in the service of the Lord. Neither man broached the subject again, but their relationship took a decidedly chilly yet cordial turn from then on. Neither could quite trust the other after that evening. The day Father Kim moved out to live with his mother Father Lee felt as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. He was still acutely aware of the older man’s watchful demeanor, however, and was loath to let his guard down for even a moment while he remained in service at the parish. 

_ **END FLASHBACK** _

Father Lee rounded the corner of his backyard carrying a bag of soil. Now that the weather was turning consistently nicer, he was spending more of his free time working in his garden. He’d always loved working with his hands in the earth to tend plants. It gave him a real sense of peace especially lately when he’d felt his world was so out of balance. “Ah, Father Lee, I thought I might find you back here.” Brushing off his hands, Father Lee rose from his knees to speak with Father Kim. “Is something wrong, Father?” With a friendly smile which Father Lee didn’t quite trust, Father Kim reassured the younger priest. “No, nothing at all. I was just wondering about the yard sale next weekend. Are there any loose ends that need tying up?” Father Lee shook his head. “Everything seems to be all set. Didn’t you receive the email updates? I know I told Mrs. Ryu to cc you.” Father Kim looked around the little garden innocently. “I have, I just thought I’d double check with you personally. I’m glad I did because I’ve gotten to see the marvelous little changes you’ve made back here. You truly have a green thumb, Father.” Father Lee chuckled at the compliment. “Thank you. It makes me happy to tend a garden.” Father Kim walked down the little stone path that had recently been added. “Tell me, what type of flower is this, the name escapes me but I believe my mother is quite fond of them.” Father Lee joined him in front of the recently blooming flower bed. “Those are Gerber Daisies.” Father Kim nodded as he looked them over. “That’s right. They’re quite stunning.” Father Lee cleared his throat. “Thank you, they’re also a favorite of mine. Would you like me to cut some to brighten her day?” Father Kim wore an appreciative expression. “That’s very sweet. Perhaps another time. I’ll leave you to your busy work. See you later, Father.”

WooSung hadn’t seen Father Lee alone since they’d met for coffee several weeks ago. Although he’d helped out with the collection of merchandise, he’d decided to not offer to help out in any other capacity with the church’s annual yard sale. He would obviously still be attending the function, but wanted to give Father Lee as much personal space as he seemed to need right now. Not having any contact with the older man was doing a job on WooSung’s psyche, his mood dipping to an all time low. JiHyun tried to pick him up by taking him for drinks when she didn’t have the night shift, and even cooking him some of his favorite foods. She knew he had fallen for someone, she just wasn’t aware of who it was. “WooSung-ah, I hate to see you so down over someone who obviously rejected you.” WooSung frowned over at her across the little table, lifting his cup of soju to take a drink. “I haven’t been rejected.” JiHyun raised a brow in surprise. “I thought you confessed already?” WooSung nodded, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “I did confess.” JiHyun furrowed her brow, confused. “If you already confessed and you weren’t rejected, then why are you spending so much time with me looking so pathetic?” WooSung let out an exasperated breath. “I’m not pathetic. If you don’t want to spend time with me, then don’t.” JiHyun reached over and took his hand. “I like spending time with you. WooSung-ah, tell me what happened. I want to help you.” He sat back, pulling his hand away to pour more soju in their cups. “The person I love just needs time to realize that they need someone.” JiHyun sipped at her drink. “And you’re sure that someone is you?” WooSung slammed his empty cup down onto the table. “Positive.” 

The day of the yard sale was clear and warm. Father Lee tried to take a backseat on this event as it was always Father Kim’s biggest fundraiser for the parish and, animosity aside, Father Lee would never take that from him. The elder priest had been somewhat reluctant to step down from his pastoral duties and, in retrospect, a younger more dynamic priest put in his place would have caused him to have some hard feelings. Unfortunately for Father Lee those hard feelings had manifested themselves in distasteful ways which were hard to overlook. He did end up doing quite a bit for the sale regardless of who appeared to be in control just for the fact that he was more accessible than Father Kim and a lot more energetic. He even set up a table himself with cuttings from his garden, a most coveted item, as well as some floral bouquets which he’d put together himself. “It seems we’ve gotten a fine day for our sale, Father, as well as a fine turnout.” Father Lee smiled over at his elder, fetching the bouquet of gerber daisies he’d set aside. “We do indeed. For your mother. I hope she enjoys them.” Father Kim looked touched momentarily. “Thank you so much. Mother hasn’t been in good spirits lately, this might just brighten them.” Father Lee looked genuinely pleased to hear it. “Please tell her I was asking after her.” Father Kim was about to answer when JiHyun and InSung stopped at the table. “Hello Fathers. What a beautiful day.” Both men smiled pleasantly at the two young people before them.

JiHyun began browsing the table while InSung stood holding a few bags. “I swear she only invited me along to carry her purchases.” Father Kim chuckled to hear it. “You’ll make an excellent husband one day, InSung.” InSung rolled his eyes. “Don’t say that too loud, Father. I wouldn’t want that ugly rumor to spread.” JiHyun stepped over carrying a few plantings to buy. “He says that as if there are women beating down his door trying to drag him to the alter.” InSung looked offended. “You’re not with me twenty-four seven. How would you know?” Father Lee intervened before this good natured ribbing escalated into something ugly. “Without naming names, I can think of two or three young parishioners that would love a chance to have InSung-ssi carry their packages for them.” InSung looked pretty smug. “See, I’m in high demand.” JiHyun chuckled as she brought out her wallet to pay. “Father Lee is just being generous.” InSung looked at the priest then seemed to recall something. “Oh, Father, I meant to mention it earlier, but my strength was sapped by all these heavy packages. You mentioned that you lived in Paris before, am I right?” Father Lee handed JiHyun her change, smiling over at InSung. His melancholy mood was definitely much improved of late. “I did when I was much younger. Why do you ask? Are you planning a trip abroad?” InSung pulled out his phone, shaking his head. “I wish, Father. I thought you might be interested in the fire.” The priest cocked an eyebrow and looked down at InSung’s phone screen. “Fire, what fire? Oh my god, is that... _it’s Notre Dame!_ ” 

InSung found his phone snatched away from him as the priest gasped in horror at the images of the ancient cathedral up in flames. “I guess it must be special to you being a priest and all.” Father Lee looked shaken as he allowed InSung to retrieve his phone from him. “What? Notre Dame means... It’s _so_ much more than that. Would you all excuse me for a moment. Father Kim, could you watch the table, please?” Before the elder priest could venture to stop him, the younger had disappeared into the crowd of parishioners enjoying the sale and out of their sight line. InSung looked sheepishly over to the elder priest, almost afraid of his reaction. “I’m sorry, Father. If I had known how upset he’d get, I wouldn’t have mentioned it. I mean, he will find out about it sooner or later, right?” Father Kim gave the young man a forgiving smile. “You have nothing to apologize for, InSung-ssi. You must understand that Father Lee feels a deep personal attachment to that cathedral as it was where he felt the calling to become a priest. I’m sure he just wanted to rush off to pray for the safety of the firefighters and clergy still attached to that magnificent structure.” InSung had his doubts by the strong reaction, but kept them to himself. “I suppose that makes sense.” Father Kim handed JiHyun her package, finalizing their transaction and hopefully their interactions. “It does. Enjoy the afternoon, it’s a beautiful one.” JiHyun bowed slightly in thanks. “You too, Father.” 

WooSung entered the yard sale accompanied by Mrs. Han. The older woman had needed a ride and he’d been more than happy to oblige. She fed him on a weekly basis after all, and had become a kind of surrogate mother to him since they’d become neighbors. “Don’t feel like you have to stay glued to my side, WooSung-ah. I can make my way around just fine on my own.” WooSung gave her a sideways glance and spoke in a joking manner. “Don’t you enjoy my company, Mrs. Han? Or do you have someone better that you’re meeting up with?” Truth be told, he’d prefer they stick together. Not only had he grown fond of the older woman, but being with her would allow him to prove to Father Lee that he was capable of giving him his much needed space. WooSung had been doing a lot of soul searching since he’d last met the priest in that coffee shop, and he’d come to a few conclusions. Just because he and Father Lee had such a strong connection didn’t necessarily mean that the older man was on the same page as he was feelings wise... _yet_. He felt pretty confident that there was something holding the older man back from letting himself fall for WooSung, something other than the church. WooSung decided to show him just how patient and understanding of his needs that he could be, no matter how much he longed to be with the older man in the biblical sense. He felt much more in control of his longings if Mrs. Han was beside him than if he was left to his own devises. “Isn’t there someone you’d rather be with, WooSung-ah?” WooSung shook his head, small smile gracing his lips. “None that I can think of.” She rolled her eyes at him. “You’ll never get married with that attitude.” WooSung shrugged, giving her a playful wink. “Why would I get married when you feed me better than anyone else ever would.” She tried to look scandalized, but was finding it hard to hide the pleased expression on her face. “Now you’re just being silly.” 

Father Kim had enlisted the help of one of the ladies on the committee to man Father Lee’s plant table for a short time while he went in search of the pastor. He wasn’t hard to find, huddled as he was in front of the small television screen he kept in his private office, formerly Father Kim’s bedroom. “I’d like to believe this overreaction stems from your religious epiphany and not from that deviant whom you can’t seem to move on from despite the number of years that have passed.” Father Lee didn’t move a muscle, keeping his eyes trained on the small screen before him and the tragic sight shown there. “Father Kim, for the love of God, please let me be.” Father Kim leaned around him to switch off the television. “For the love of God, I will not. You must understand how unhealthy this obsession of yours is. You must also know that you’re only hurting yourself by continuing to torture yourself like you do. The parishioners are starting to notice your behavior as well.” Father Lee frowned up at him. “Do you want me to leave? Step down as pastor and move to another parish.” Father Kim let out a deep sigh. “What I want is for you to get yourself together and remember what your purpose is here. The Diocese would like me to retire but I can’t, in good conscience, until I know you’re over this affliction.” Father Lee looked torn suddenly. “I may never be over my _affliction_ , as you call it. What then, Father? Will you finally send in that report to the Cardinal?” 

Father Kim looked nonplussed. If he’d been surprised to hear that the younger priest knew that he had been planning to report him to the church’s hierarchy, he didn’t show it. “I haven’t sent it yet, Father, because I believe you’re good for this community, if not for your own self. I also believe you have the makings of a fine pastor in you. The parishioners seem to love you and you’ve done a marvelous job here overall.” Father Lee blinked over at him. “Thank you for the compliments, Father.” Father Kim waved him off noncommittally. “However, you’ve got work to do. I suggest you take a sabbatical to reflect on your true feelings about the priesthood and this parish. Finally lay some demons to rest permanently while you’re at it. I’m offering you a family cabin, if you’re interested. It’s about three hours from here and in a very remote area, far enough for you to clear your head.” Father Lee quirked a brow. “Why are you doing this for me? I was under the impression that I wasn’t your favorite person.” Father Kim turned to leave. “As a priest I should extend myself to others and help where it’s needed no matter what my personal feelings might be. Let me know about the cabin, Father.” 

WooSung was browsing a table when he ran smack dab into InSung. “I thought you were coming with Mrs. Han.” WooSung shrugged at his friend. “So did I, but she ditched me for her friends shortly after we arrived.” InSung snorted, shaking his head. “You really do have a way with the ladies, don’t you? You know, when you told me you were taking Mrs. Han, I half thought you were really taking your secret crush.” WooSung winked at him as they made their way over towards where JiHyun was making yet another purchase. “How do you know that Mrs. Han isn’t my secret crush?” InSung paused momentarily to give him a sideways look. “Don’t even joke about something like that. That woman used to babysit me and change my diapers.” JiHyun joined them now, carrying her new purchase, homemade jams and a jar of honey. “WooSung-ah, where’s Mrs. Han?” InSung beat him to it with a chuckle. “She ditched him and now he’s looking to hang around with us.” JiHyun handed WooSung her newly purchased bag of goodies. “Good, I’ll need more help carrying what I buy.” WooSung just looked at InSung who rolled his eyes. “Don’t ask, she’s become a shopaholic suddenly.” 

Standing by WooSung’s car later having a smoke while they waited for Mrs. Han to finish up socializing, InSung glanced over at the thinning crowd. “Did you happen to see Father Lee at all today?” WooSung turned to him slowly, his thoughts were of course on the priest and where he could be but he didn’t want to voice them. His plan to give him space not letting him seek out his company no matter how much he’d wanted to. “No, have you?” InSung nodded, tossing his cigarette butt onto the ground. “Mmm... yeah, earlier JiHyun and I spoke with him and Father Kim. I think I upset him though and I’m feeling badly about it.” WooSung’s brows raised as his body tensed slightly. “You... what makes you think that you upset him?” InSung let out a sigh, leaning back against WooSung’s car. “It wasn’t on purpose, I just remembered that he had mentioned that he’d lived in Paris, so I asked him if he’d heard about Notre Dame burning. I showed him the video on my phone.” WooSung was on pins and needles now, needing more details but also not wanting to appear as desperate as he felt to hear them. “And you think that upset him?” InSung scoffed. “I _know_ it did. As soon as he heard about it, he had to rush off and leave the yard sale. Father Kim said he was going to pray for the firefighters and clergy at Notre Dame because that’s where he’d felt the calling to become a priest, but I don’t believe it.” WooSung wanted to grab InSung by the shoulders and shake him for more information, instead he lit another cigarette to calm his nerves. “Why not?” InSung looked thoughtful for a moment. “The expression on his face when he saw the cathedral burning, it wasn’t concern it was something else, panic maybe, I can’t be sure.” Mrs. Han picked that moment to join them and WooSung rushed forward to take the bag she was carrying from her hands. ‘Ready to go, Mrs. Han?” She smiled and reached up to pat his cheek. “I’ve seen it all, so yes. Thank you for taking me, WooSung-ah.” He opened up the car door for her, with an absentminded smile on his face, his mind on Father Lee and if he was alright all the while. “My pleasure.” 

Father Lee lie propped up on his bed, cigarette between his lips and glass of scotch sitting as yet untouched on his nightstand, while he stared at the newsreel of the burning edifice upon his computer screen. It wasn’t just a cherished national treasure of historic and religious significance to him, no, Notre Dame held a much more personal place in his heart and always would. Although it was true that he’d come to some kind of religious epiphany there, it was only after... after his life had fallen apart and he was desperate to escape it that it had happened. It had always seemed appropriate to him that Notre Dame should bear witness to his most crushing moment since she had been there to witness his best. She was his confidant when he most needed one and to see her suffering like this, like he’d watched MinSoo... Father Lee reached for his scotch, draining the glass through hot tears. Maybe Father Kim was right, maybe he needed a kind of sabbatical, just for a short time. Whatever the elder priest’s motives were, he really could use some time to himself to sort out his thoughts. Tonight, in devastated silence, he wept for an old friend.

WooSung understood what giving someone their space meant, but after listening to InSung yesterday, he didn’t think he could hold back any longer. It was one thing if Father Lee were going about his business and doing fine, but judging from what he’d heard, this was not the case. He resolved to have a word with him after Mass today. At least to see for himself how the priest was faring with his own eyes. He was terribly worried about the older man. Knowing what little he did about his past, WooSung assumed that the man in the photo had also been with him in Paris. What had happened there between them and why they were no longer together was a mystery to WooSung since Father Lee was still obviously in pain about it. The only thing WooSung knew for sure was how much he wanted to help the priest get over whatever it was. He would do anything to take his pain away if only Father Lee would just let him in. Sitting in the pew before Mass, Mrs. Han cleared her throat beside him. “Stop fidgeting. You’re worse than my son when he was a boy.” He stopped his legs from moving with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, nervous energy.” The processional began and the parishioners all rose as Father Kim made his way down the aisle. WooSung leaned down to speak in Mrs. Han’s ear. “Why is Father Kim here? Where’s Father Lee?” She shushed him with a sideways look. “I wasn’t consulted, now hush and be respectful.” He frowned up at the alter, stomach twisting in a knot. “Yes ma’am.”

Mrs. Han led WooSung out of the church hall, pausing to stop and speak with Deacon BeomSoo on their way. All the while WooSung couldn’t stop thinking about Father Lee. He was resolved to come back once he’d dropped Mrs. Han off at home to pay him a visit. “Deacon, how are you?” He took her hands, smiling warmly at her. “I’m well, thank you.” She smiled back at him just as warmly. “You know Jung WooSung, my neighbor, he’s become more like a son to me really.” The Deacon extended a hand in greeting to WooSung. “Of course, a fine young man. Good morning, WooSung-ssi.” WooSung bowed slightly, touched by Mrs. Han’s words. “Good morning, Deacon.” Mrs. Han cleared her throat. “Deacon, how is your wife these days? Is she feeling better now?” He nodded, looking relieved. “She is, much. Thank you so much again for the soup and teas that you sent to her.” She nodded her head, happy to hear that the Mrs. Lee was feeling better. “It was my pleasure. Tell her to pay me a visit when she’s up to it. Speaking of feeling unwell, WooSung-ah was just commenting to me about Father Lee’s absence from Mass this morning. It made me think, has the good father taken ill?” The Deacon shook his head, face turning from friendly to neutral in the blink of an eye. “Father Lee is just fine. I believe that he’s on a religious sabbatical at the moment.” Mrs. Han frowned over at him and WooSung would have kissed her then and there if it wouldn’t have appeared strange. “Odd that he wouldn’t have mentioned it to his parishioners beforehand.” Deacon BeomSoo tried to laugh it off. “I’m as out of the loop as you are, HwaYoung-ssi. I only found out about it this morning myself.” Mrs. Han raised a conspiratorial brow. “Father Lee has been a breath of fresh air to this parish, BeomSoo-ssi, you know it and I know it. I do hope he’s not being forced out for any petty reasons.” BeomSoo looked around the hallway where they stood to see if they were being overheard. “You didn’t hear it from me but from what I understand, Father Lee is overwrought for some reason. He’s gone to Father Kim’s family cabin in the mountains for reflection.” Mrs. Han huffed, taking WooSung’s arm. “Sounds a bit too convenient for my taste. Tell your wife I’ll expect her.” 

Father Lee had left at dawn’s first light. Calling Father Kim late on Saturday evening to let him know that he’d decided to take him up on his offer. After a brief stop at the Kim’s residence to retrieve the key and a set of detailed directions, he had made the three hour drive with no problems. The only other stop he’d made was to pick up some supplies at the nearest grocery store which was located about forty minutes away from the cabin. Father Kim hadn’t been joking when he’d stated how remote the cabin was. Father Lee had to park some distance away and hike up some rather rugged terrain to get to it. The thought crossed his mind, albeit briefly, that perhaps the elder priest was killing two birds with one stone by offering up his family cabin for him to use. One misstep would send him careening down the rocky hillside quite possibly breaking his neck in the process. No one would come to find him, nor would anyone think his absence was odd since he was on a sabbatical. He could technically lie there for days, injured or worse. Those types of thoughts weren’t helping his frame of mind, so he struck them from his mind and made sure to step cautiously along his way. Once he was safely inside the modest cabin, Father Lee set about putting away his groceries and stowing away his things. Although there was electricity, there was nothing else to speak of, no phone service, no internet, no modern conveniences to be had, he would be completely alone with his thoughts to meditate on them at his leisure and, of course, commune with nature. Feeling closed in suddenly and not ready to face his most intimate feelings, he grabbed a water bottle and was out the door to explore the surrounding area for the next few hours, afraid to face himself just yet. 

_JungJae squinted into the sunlight, covering his eyes with one hand to get a better look. “It’s gorgeous. Just imagine how long it’s been standing here.” MinSoo stood beside him, sunglasses covering his eyes as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet in an almost nervous fashion. “A long time.” JungJae snorted, turning to look at him. “Try centuries, MinSoo-yah. What’s with you today? If you didn’t want to come here, you should have said so. I would have just come by myself.” MinSoo placed a hand on the small of his back, letting a smile pull at the corners of his lips. “I’m sorry, I was just distracted.” JungJae frowned over at him, concern in his eyes. “Is everything alright? You’ve been acting weird all day.” MinSoo cleared his throat. “Yeah, I just... come on, let’s go inside and we can talk about it later.” JungJae grabbed his arm as MinSoo made to walk away. “MinSoo-yah, tell me now, please.” MinSoo took his hand and led him towards the front of Notre Dame, but JungJae stopped just shy of the entrance. “MinSoo-yah, I mean it, I’m not going in until you tell me.” MinSoo pulled him off to the side, out of the way of the other tourists and religious pilgrims making their way inside the cathedral. “JungJae-yah, don’t go.” JungJae furrowed his brow, confused. “What...” MinSoo reached over to cup his cheek. “I’m in love with you, please stay here with me.” JungJae’s breath caught in his throat and his pulse sped up. “Oh, MinSoo-yah, I love you too.” MinSoo leaned in closer bringing their lips together in a brief but meaningful kiss. “Will you think about staying here in Paris with me?” JungJae’s eyes were dancing as he took the older man’s hand. “There’s nothing to think about, mon ange.”_

Father Lee woke with a start in front of the fire. He had been on his sabbatical for three days now and his dreams were getting more and more vivid with each passing night that he’d spent here. He honestly didn’t know why this year’s anniversary was so much more difficult, he had thought that he was dealing so much better over the last few years. So what had changed in his life to make this particular anniversary so hard? “MinSoo-yah, why are you torturing me? I thought we’d reached an understanding by now. I really wish you’d give me some kind of sign and let me know what you want from me.” He stood up to make himself a pot of coffee, thanking god this cabin at least had running water and a coffee pot such as it were, to shake off the cobwebs of sleep. Halfway through his cup the heavy rains began outside and when he was pouring cup number two, he lost power. “God damnit.” Flashlight in hand, Father Lee made his way outside to where the fuse box was located. Once he sorted out the problem, he turned and made his way back towards the cabin door. It was nearly dawn by this time, but still dark enough to need his flashlight to make his way. He’d forgotten to turn on the little porch light in his haste to get to the fuse box, but with the rain being so heavy it wouldn't have helped him much anyway. Just as he was about to step inside the door, he heard a faint cry. “ _Father Lee!_ ” Turning to squint into the rain, Jung WooSung emerged, soaking wet, and collapsed to his knees on the muddy ground before him. “ _Father Lee... I... I made it._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to use Notre Dame’s burning for this chapter because it fit in so well with the plot line. Of course it’s a devastating loss and not something to be trivialized.
> 
> This chapter gave me a bit of a hard time. I hope it comes off as I wanted it to. ❤️


	6. Anxious

WooSung hadn’t known what to do with himself since Father Lee had left on his sabbatical. He was half nervous and half irritable all the time while he waited for his return. Snapping at a coworkers one moment and jumping like a skittish cat at the slightest provocative the next. His emotional roller coaster playing out for most everyone to take note of with each hairpin turn and steep incline only increasing with the passage of the days. “WooSung-ah, quit that fidgeting and sit at the table before the food gets cold.” WooSung tore himself away from the window where he’d been watching the street for any passing cars which might happen by. “Sorry, Mrs. Han.” She looked at him across her small dining table, watching as he not so much ate but picked at the food she’d prepared. “Is something wrong? You usually inhale the food I put in front of you.” He looked up at her from where he was studying his plate. “Oh... everything looks delicious, thank you.” She raised a brow, frowning over at him. “WooSung-ah, did you happen to have a fight with Jun JiHyun-ssi?” He looked surprised and shook his head. “No, why do you ask?” Mrs. Han chuckled at the shocked look on his face. “I know that you two have been getting closer, spending a lot of time together, and you seem so moody lately. I like her, she comes from a good family, you couldn’t have picked a better match.” WooSung was quick to correct her. “Oh no, I mean, JiHyun-ssi is great and a good friend, but we’re not, we’ve _never_ been like that. Besides, I think InSung-ssi might be interested in her.” Mrs. Han rolled her eyes at the mention of Jo InSung. “Jo InSung-ssi doesn’t have sense enough to be interested in a fine girl like that. Trust me, I’ve known him all his life. Don’t let him stop you from pursuing such a nice girl.” WooSung frowned over at her. “Don’t talk that way about InSung-ssi, Mrs. Han. He’s a good person and I think he and JiHyuh-ssi would make a cute couple.” Mrs. Han shook her head, looking disgusted momentarily before spooning some more food onto his plate. “You’ll never get married with that attitude. I can’t feed you forever, you know.” WooSung took a few bites to appease her. “I know, thank you so much, Mrs. Han, it’s delicious.” 

After dinner, Mrs. Han washed the dishes while WooSung stood beside her and dried them off. “Are you feeling sick?” WooSung quirked his brow at the older women, setting the dishes into the cabinet neatly. “No, why do you ask?” She dried her hands off on the dish towel and turned to study him. “Well, you said you didn’t fight with Jun JiHyun-ssi, so what else could be causing you to behave so strangely?” WooSung sighed moving over to the stove. “I’ll put the tea on.” Mrs. Han brought out the cups and joined him at her little kitchen table. “WooSung-ah, I don’t like my questions being ignored.” He looked down at his hands which rested in his lap. “I’m sorry, Mrs. Han. I’m not trying to ignore your question, I just don’t know what to say.” She pat his hand in a soothing manner. “I’ve told you that you’re like a son to me, you can tell me anything.” WooSung watched as she got up to pour the tea and came back to sit beside him. “I can’t stop thinking about Father Lee.” Mrs. Han took a sip from her cup before frowning over at him. “What about him?” WooSung took a hot gulp of tea letting it burn its way down his throat before answering. “I... I’m worried if he’s alright.” Mrs. Han regarded him for a few minutes from over the rim of her tea cup. “You’re fond of Father Lee, aren't you, WooSung-ah?” He nodded his head perhaps a little too quickly. “Very. He’s always been so good to me from the minute I stepped foot in the church.” Mrs. Han looked satisfied with his answer. “That’s our Father Lee, always thinking of his parishioners and never himself.” He set his cup down, giving his throat a break. “You and Deacon BeomSoo think he’s being forced out. How can I not be upset?” Mrs. Han looked reflective now for altogether different reasons than WooSung’s state of mind. “I must admit, Father Lee has crossed my mind several times since my conversation with the Deacon. I would certainly feel better knowing that he’s only away for religious reasons and not being coerced to be so.” WooSung could feel his heart pounding in his chest, he could hear it in his head it was so loud. He stood up so quickly that he nearly knocked his chair over. “I can go.” Mrs. Han stared over at him with a dumbfounded expression on her face. “Go where? Let me feel your forehead, are you feverish?” He brushed her off when she stood and tried to reach up to his forehead with her palm. “I’m not feverish. I can go and check on Father Lee to make sure he’s alright.” Mrs. Han blinked over at him. “Jung WooSung, I think you must be feverish if you’re ready to hop in the car and drive without knowing where you’re going.” He sat back down. “You don’t know where Father Kim’s cabin is?” She shook her head, chuckling slightly. “We’re not that close. I’m afraid you’ll have to just wait and see how he is when his sabbatical is over and done with. I didn’t realize you were so invested in the church, it’s nice to see.” 

Later that night as WooSung lie in bed tossing and turning, he couldn’t stop thinking of driving up to Father Kim’s cabin to check on Father Lee. Finally, when he couldn’t take it anymore, he started to make a list of who might know where Father Kim’s cabin was. He couldn’t exactly ask the older priest himself, how would that look? He decided to take a drive to clear his head and ended up in the hospital parking lot just as JiHyun was getting off her night shift. “WooSung-ah, what are you doing here? You’re not sick, are you?” He pulled back from her hands which sought to feel his forehead. “No, why does everyone keep asking me that?” She gave him a tired smile. “I don’t know about anyone else, but you are in the hospital parking lot so I assumed you were sick.” He looked around nodding. “I can see where you might think that, but I’m really just out thinking.” JiHyun fell into step beside him. “Oh, about what?” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “JiHyun-ah, for a small community nobody seems to know much. Not even Mrs. Han. I thought she knew everything about everyone, but the one time I could really use information, she comes up blank.” JiHyun furrowed her brow at him. “WooSung-ah, I just worked a twelve hour shift, you need to either cut to the chase or buy me coffee if you’re going to keep being so vague.” WooSung scoffed at that. “ _Coffee?_ I never imagined how important coffee was. Now I may never have coffee again.” JiHyun stopped walking and stared at his back. “Maybe we should go back in and get you a CT scan. Did you hit your head today at work?” He turned to face her, tears glistening in his eyes. “I’m going crazy without him, JiHyun-ah. I need to know he’s alright.” Her eyes went wide at the confession. “Him? _Oh, WooSung-ah_ , come on, I think maybe you’re the one who needs the coffee.”

JiHyun drove them to an empty parking lot where they could talk privately. The only place to get a cup of coffee at this hour had been the convenience store which didn’t seem to bother WooSung much. He didn’t seem to really be paying much attention to what was happening anyway, lost in his own musings as JiHyun had driven along. Once she had parked the car, JiHyun took a sip of coffee and turned to face him, leaning her back against the door and bringing her feet up onto the seat. “Why don’t you start from the beginning, tell me what’s going on exactly.” WooSung let out a heavy sigh, eyes riveted upon his own untouched coffee cup held in his lap. “JiHyun-ssi, I’ve never felt like this for anyone before. I’m sick with worry, I can’t sleep, I can barely eat.” JiHyun spoke gently and with some hesitation, almost as if she were afraid to spook him and cause him more grief. “The person you’re in love with... he’s in trouble?” WooSung lifted his head to look at her with an almost pleading look in his eyes. “That’s part of what has me so worried, he just left suddenly and I don’t know if he’s alright. I don’t know who to ask where he’s gone. It’s not like I can’t just ask Father Kim to his face.” JiHyun nearly choked on her coffee at the mention of the elder priest. “Father Kim? What’s he have to do with any of this?” WooSung finally took an absentminded sip of his own coffee, before looking back down into his lap. “It’s his cabin that he’s gone to.” The realization had hit her then, it wasn’t hard to put two and two together with Father Lee being on sabbatical. “ _But I thought... what about MinSoo?_ ” She had spoke softly, almost to herself, but in the quiet of the car WooSung had heard her. “ _MinSoo?_ Who’s that? Wait, not the man from the photograph? Why didn’t you ever tell me about him before?” 

JiHyun looked almost shocked at what she’d said out loud, shaking her head vehemently. “I didn’t know you had those types of feelings for Father Lee. How could I? You never opened up to me about your mystery crush.” WooSung was leaning towards her now, eyes pleading. “You _have_ to tell me about this MinSoo and how you know his name. Please, JiHyun-ah, I’m desperate for information.” She hesitated a moment longer but seeing him so shaken up over this tugged at her romantic heart strings. “Remember I told you I’ve been cleaning Father Lee’s house for years? Well, I came across a photograph of Father Lee and another good looking man back when I was in high school. It was in Father Kim’s room under some papers.” WooSung frowned over at her, surprised to hear this. “Father Kim’s room?” JiHyun nodded, stifling a yawn. “He used to live with Father Lee until his mother got too sick to live alone. Anyway, Father Kim caught me with it and told me it was a friend of Father Lee’s from seminary school. I didn’t think much about it until I saw Father Lee in a charnel house in Seoul a few months later when I was there with my family.” WooSung shrugged. “Why is that unusual? He is a priest.” JiHyun rolled her eyes. “He wasn’t there as a priest. He was there to pay respects to the man from the photograph and he looked... shaken as if he had recently passed away.” WooSung looked skeptical, JiHyun did tend to over romanticize things. “You don’t even know for sure if it was this MinSoo.” JiHyun had tears in her eyes now at the memory. “I do know. I was worried about the way Father Lee looked so I went back up to check on him, but he was already gone. The flowers he left were there beside the man’s name, Choi MinSoo, the same as on the back of the photograph. Only he hadn’t just passed away, it had been several years. No wonder Father Lee is so sad so much of the time, he lost his love.“

Father Lee stood looking out the window as the rain continued to pelt the cabin throughout the morning. Turning with a sigh, he poured himself another cup of strong, black coffee allowing his cigarette to dangle precariously from his lips while musing on the predicament he found himself in. He was sure of one one thing, Father Kim had not offered his cabin for Jung WooSung to come crashing in unannounced like this. The older priest would have a lot to say about this, especially if he knew about WooSung’s continued declaration of affection towards himself. If the weather hadn’t been so foul or the younger man hadn’t been in such rough shape, Father Lee would have sent him packing with a stern lecture about thinking before he acted. However, once WooSung had dropped to his knees before him it was more than evident to him that the younger man was only just hanging on to consciousness. He’d had to half drag him inside and, as much as he would rather not have to, strip and dry him off before lying him on the couch to warm him up in front of the fire. It must have been very taxing to make the climb up that steep incline in such inclement weather. Father Lee had enough trouble with his footing on a clear morning. He couldn’t imagine doing so in such heavy rains. WooSung was certainly one determined young man, although a somewhat foolhardy one.

**_ FLASHBACK _ **

JungJae hadn’t been in Paris that long, less than ten days in fact. He was hoping to travel around as much of France as he could while his money held out. Going against his parents wishes for the first time in his life, he took a leave from college to see the world. Sitting at a small café smoking a cigarette and drinking un café express, JungJae watched the people go by enjoying the sunshine. “Ne bouge pas un muscle, tu es parfait.” JungJae turned his head towards the sound of the voice as a camera shutter began clicking off to his right. “ _Huh?_ ” With an exasperated huff, the photographer lowered his camera and began speaking in Korean. “I told you not to move. You ruined my shot.” JungJae set his cup down with a bewildered look upon his face. “Excuse me?” The bearded man shook his head, switching to English now. “Can you just sit still so I can get a good shot? It’s not that difficult really.” JungJae’s brows raised, he had heard that Parisians could be rude, but this person was beyond anything he’d ever experienced. “Je ne me souviens pas de vous avoir donné la permission de prendre ma photo.” The photographer’s expression changed from annoyed to surprised. “So you did understand me.” JungJae stood up, ready to make his exit and get away from this extremely rude man. “What I don’t understand is rude behavior. Excusez moi, Monsieur le photographe.” 

As he started walking away, he could hear the camera’s shutter clicking. “Stop that! I don’t want my picture taken, especially by you.” The photographer hurried to catch up with him, walking beside him now as he was trying to hurry away. “Let me apologize for disturbing you.” JungJae just side eyed him as he continued to walk briskly down the avenue. “And for chasing after me?” Now the obviously older man was placing a hand on his arm to slow his progress. “I won’t apologize for that. Let me buy you a drink.” JungJae paused, looking at his camera. “Why, so you can take more photos of me?” The man was laughing now. “I won’t deny that thought had crossed my mind. I promise to ask permission first though. My name is MinSoo, Choi MinSoo. I’m a photographer and I live here in Paris.” JungJae looked at him reluctantly for a moment before deciding. “Lee JungJae. I’m just visiting France until my money runs out.” MinSoo laughed to hear it. “Well, Lee JungJae, today is your lucky day.” JungJae snorted, folding his arms across his chest. “Why is that?” MinSoo began leading him towards a little bar down the street. “You need money to stay in France longer, and I need a good looking model like you to photograph.” JungJae rolled his eyes as they crossed the threshold together. “How often does that line work?” MinSoo smirked at him. “More often than you’d think.” 

“ _You’re beautiful... just gorgeous._ ” JungJae didn’t know how many hours had passed since they’d crossed that threshold into the bar together, he only knew he had gotten hotter by the minute, hotter than he’d ever been in his life. He couldn’t exactly blame it entirely on the wine, although similarly to the hours that had passed, he’d also lost track of the amount they’d imbibed. He only knew that MinSoo’s hands were burning his body as he pressed him to his bedroom wall, his lips practically scorching his skin as he kissed down his torso. Sweating now and near desperate for more, JungJae was on fire all over while MinSoo set about exploring every inch he could get to, his tongue blazing a slick trail down to his ultimate prize. JungJae no longer caring what the older man’s motives where as long as he kept his hands and mouth on him, _in him_ , leaving him quaking in pleasure. “ _Please_...” MinSoo, just as desperate by now, pulled back to look into the younger man’s large brown eyes, tone teasing. “Please what?” JungJae couldn’t help the whine that escaped him, low and needy. “S'il vous plaît, Monsieur le photographe, ne me taquinez pas.” MinSoo grinned over at him, holding back with tremendous effort. “Puis-je te photographier?” JungJae pulled him closer with arms around his neck, panting his answer out into his neck. “ _Nous verrons ce que nous verrons._ ” 

**_ END FLASHBACK _ **

WooSung’s body felt like he had gone ten rounds against the heavyweight champion blindfolded with his hands tied behind his back. Every muscle seemed to be sore and no matter which way he moved himself, another part of his body would ache in protestation. The last thing he could recall clearly was finally catching a glimpse of the cabin in the dim predawn light up in front of him. Near delirious with exhaustion after clawing his way up the steep incline, he had just been able to make out what he’d hoped was Father Lee and not some worry induced hallucination. Waking now before the fire, warm and dry wrapped in a soft blanket, he pulled himself up to sit and look around the modest cabin, realizing he must be alone. His once wet clothing had been laid out by the fire to dry for him and, by the looks of it, cleaned up of the mud that must have been caked upon them. WooSung couldn’t help smiling at the thought of Father Lee taking the time to care for him in this way, his heart actually skipping a beat at the idea of the older man fussing over him. Letting the blanket fall away, WooSung stood up to crouch down and tend the fire, not wanting the good Father’s hard work to go to waste. The sound of the cabin door opening had him standing to his full height in the next minute. “Father Lee, let me help you with that.” Arms loaded with wood, the older man crossed the threshold, surprised to see his unexpected guest up and about. “No, no, I’ve got it.” With his back to WooSung, Father Lee began stacking the Wood beside the fireplace. “Your clothing should be dry by now.” WooSung shook himself out of his stupor. “Oh... I didn’t even check. I... I just woke up. Thank you for taking such good care of me.” Father Lee turned to him with his clothing extended in his hand. “I’m a priest, it’s my job to take care of my parishioners. Get dressed please.” WooSung took the clothing, but still hesitated. “Is that the only reason that you did it?” Father Lee let out a sigh. “I’ll heat some food up. Get dressed and we’ll talk.” 

WooSung sat down at the small kitchen table just as Father Kim was serving the stew. “Thank you, it smells delicious.” Father Lee sat across from him with his own bowl as well as a lit cigarette, gesturing for WooSung to eat. “It’s just something I brought with me. Eat, you must be hungry.” That was all the encouragement that the younger man needed to tuck into his meal with gusto. The past three days and the arduous journey he’d undertaken last night leaving him with an incredible hunger. “ _Mmm_ , I wouldn’t want this to get back to Mrs. Han, but this is the best meal I think I’ve ever had.” WooSung paused in his devouring of the stew to take in the cabin. “It’s not such a bad looking cabin, it’s homey.” Father Lee sat there with his own food untouched, cigarette burning between his fingers which rested casually upon the table, watching him. “What were you thinking coming up here, and in that weather? You could have been killed. Have you no sense at all?” WooSung set his spoon down, giving the priest his undivided attention. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to cause you worry. I just couldn’t stand the thought of you suffering up here alone any longer. I needed to see you, to see if you were alright.” Father Lee took a drag from his nearly forgotten cigarette. “How many times do I have to explain this to you? I’m a priest. The only feelings I have for you are concern for your mental health, get that through your thick skull.” WooSung reached across the table and took his hand which was pulled immediately away from his grasp. “I don’t believe you. Your feelings show in the way you’ve taken care of me.” Father Lee stood up now to distance himself from the younger man. “You’re delusional. The harsh reality is, you’re perpetuating this idea in your mind. You have to leave here. If Father Kim found you...” “Because of MinSoo?” WooSung hadn’t intended to mention the man from the photograph, but he was being pushed into a corner and had just blurted it out. He wished he hadn’t as soon as the words left his lips. Father Lee’s face registered shock and something else, something that cut WooSung to the quick... utter devastation. “Father Lee... _I... I’m sorry... I shouldn’t have_...” Clearing his throat, the older man backed up until his hand was on the door to the cabin. “I better get... more wood... excuse me...” WooSung took two steps after him but he was gone, disappearing into the woods just as the heavens opened up once again.


End file.
